The intentions are good

I went into work early so that I could get home in time for lunch with my partner (a very rare occurence at the moment) and then take Lucy for a proper long walk. However, the rain hasn't let up all day, added to which it's cold, so I'm being a wimp and sticking with the warmth of my kitchen and the comfort of the laptop. I have 6 spiced tealoaves almost ready in the oven and the kitchen smells perfect.

I had opened the laptop intending writing a CV, or at least making a start, but it is so many years since I have needed one (I have been self employed for almost 13 years) that I write "Curriculum Vitae" and then blank. However, I must tackle the deed and send it off to some possible employers. I think I am suffering from "back to work nerves" - although I have never stopped working since I left University, I worry that my practical skills are fairly basic - for example, I can touch type reasonably well and use my word processor every day but I am in no way professional and get totally muddled and furious when importing, exporting, cutting and pasting - I can wipe out entire documents at the push of a button and be sent into abject terror - they are always there somewhere but it's finding them that's the problem. I wish I could earn a living writing my blog.

Anyway, I made the tomato soup - I put little crosses in the tops of the tomatoes, drizzled them in a little olive oil and roasted them for an hour in the oven at 150C. I then softened an onion with 2 cloves of garlic and added the tomatoes, having first removed the skins and the core bit from the top. I added 1/2 pint of chicken stock with a tablespoon of tomato puree and lots of freshly ground black pepper. I simmered it for 15 minutes and then pureed with a good handful of fresh basil leaves. I declare it was delicious! I have had it for lunch and suspect the girls will clear off the rest when they come in from school. We are having fahitas for supper - filled with grilled chicken, avocado and salads and then a big juicy Galia melon for pudding.

I was delighted to read a timely article in the paper this lunchtime (when I extracted the paper from lover-boy - I really don't know why he "loves" me to be home for lunch other than to cook it - he always reads the paper, watches the news and complains about both!) titled "tomatoes are a dieter's dream - the healthy way to keep hunger at bay". A researcher is saying that tomatoes are very efficient at keeping the "full" sensation for longer (in addition to warding off cancer, lowering cholesterol, protecting against sunburn, fighting signs of ageing, healing wounds and helping the body absorb iron through its high levels of vitamin C - what a power packed little fruit!). My friend swears by homemade tomato soup packed with garlic to treat a cold (and very efficient at staving off unwelcome male attention too I suspect!). Our fridge almost always has tomatoes in as we all like them - I shall like them even more now.

Another article in today's very helpful paper is, surprise, surprise, shopping is fun.....if you are thin. Well, there's a shocker! How many times have you stood in the, usually small, or worse communal, cubical and been horrified at what you see? For starters, there are usually mirrors all around for you to admire areas that are usually, mercifully, hidden from view. Secondly, you went into the changing room with the vision of yourself in your head from at least 10 years and 2 sizes ago, so when the reality hits you full frontal (and side and rear to boot!) it is not a pretty sight. Thirdly, when do you actually plan ahead and wear nice underwear and good tights? I am always confronted by an overweight woman in grey Tescos knickers and opaque tights with a hole in the crotch, thigh and toes, an ill-fitting, badly washed bra, looking slightly harassed and flushed with hair that resembles a hay rack - she in no way resembles the woman who left home. No, I can honestly say that shopping for clothes, particularly when you have to buy something for a party/wedding, is an awful, demoralising, reality check. I more often than not end up deciding to make do with what is in the wardrobe and buy either 250g of Brazil nut toffee from Thorntons or a pack of 4 jam doughnuts from M&S instead, driving away as quickly as possible from the experience, vowing to do something about my weight (after I've finished the treats). The article concludes with, "Why then, do so many women hit the shops? - "The answer," said the professor, "appears to be for inspiration and fantasy." Too right!

I am going to have to brave the rain. Fresh air and exercise are the order of the hour - I feel like an eager Guide leader without a pack. CV can wait for inspiration.

E xx

Added later on - am going to take camera next time I go out to show you why I should always choose a walk (even though I got soaked!) over sitting in a warm kitchen at my laptop - can always come back in to kitchen feeling invigorated, alive and inspired!