14st 7lb. I've survived another season of lamb/tup sales and amazingly, I am feeling relatively normal and not nearly as washed out as I was this time last year. The last couple of days were hard work with very long hours but, all in all, satisfying and at least this time I didn't gain weight even though I eat very little whilst there. On Wednesday, in the 19 hours that I was awake and working, I ate 4 Quality Street sweets off the reception desk in the office and 2 Weetabix with hot milk when I got home. I was not good yesterday - in terms of calories for the day it was not OTT, but I ate all the wrong things - a piece of coffee cake; 6 Quality Streets; 15 chips from the fryer; a ham sandwich (and that was only because I was conscious that I was starting to pick).
Anyway, I have realised something positive. I may not be moving down the scales but, I no longer feel enormous. I have graduated to being a "big lass" and feel I am within acceptable limits. This in no way alters the fact that I know I have a long way to go to be medically within acceptable limits, but I feel that my hugeness is not necessarily the first thing people will notice about me. This is a really positive step in the right direction. It started in Cornwall when I was fairly relaxed and able to get out and walk in such beautiful surroundings every day. I know it is a scientifically proven fact that your "feel good" hormones are raised when you exercise but I never really believed it. However, when I had no other distractions such as work, family life and stemming the tide of chaos at home, I felt great. Maybe it's the taking control or indulging in a past time that you know is doing you good.
I am so looking forward to November. I am going to be positive, nurturing and more confident. I need to take my life in hand and tackle the issues that are holding me back (mainly money and work!). I wish I had my time again to really carefully consider where I wanted to be with a career.
I'm signing off for a while as I need to go to a funeral. I will be back to finish off later.
Exx
Friday 30 October 2009
Tuesday 27 October 2009
I now like aubergines!
Not exactly love, but certainly not dislike! I walked past a box of aubergines in the market today and thought how inviting they looked. I didn't actually buy any as I have two busy days at work and won't have time to cook. I have made some ratatouille to take with me for lunch. Thank you for the cooking suggestions - I will try them. I actually do like moussaka but I don't think it will fit with the diet plans.
I am really excited about my plans for November. I am going to start as I mean to go on. You may notice there isn't a weight at the top of the page - this is not because I have gone back to twice a week weigh in, it's because I know the news won't be good. I have been picking. However, today I have been much better. I grabbed a piece of toast & honey on my way out to work, then a hard boiled egg with a tomato and cucumber for lunch and two pieces of toast with peanut butter for supper. Too much bread I know but I was late in after a busy day and was too tired to bother as everyone else had eaten.
I am suffering from lack of exercise which generates that "feel good" factor. As I will be in work from 5.30am to midnight tomorrow, other than being on my feet all day, I won't get a walk and will miss tennis again this week. I really miss it and will try to organise a game for the weekend when I have NOTHING PLANNED!!!! What a joy!
Anyway, I'm signing out until Friday at the earliest due to work commitments.
Happy dieting
E xx
I am really excited about my plans for November. I am going to start as I mean to go on. You may notice there isn't a weight at the top of the page - this is not because I have gone back to twice a week weigh in, it's because I know the news won't be good. I have been picking. However, today I have been much better. I grabbed a piece of toast & honey on my way out to work, then a hard boiled egg with a tomato and cucumber for lunch and two pieces of toast with peanut butter for supper. Too much bread I know but I was late in after a busy day and was too tired to bother as everyone else had eaten.
I am suffering from lack of exercise which generates that "feel good" factor. As I will be in work from 5.30am to midnight tomorrow, other than being on my feet all day, I won't get a walk and will miss tennis again this week. I really miss it and will try to organise a game for the weekend when I have NOTHING PLANNED!!!! What a joy!
Anyway, I'm signing out until Friday at the earliest due to work commitments.
Happy dieting
E xx
Sunday 25 October 2009
Learning to love the aubergine!
14st 7lb. I sat in church this morning and decided (I did concentrate on the sermon, I promise!) that I will get another stone off before Christmas. This will take some focus and effort, both of which I am happy to give. I am so excited about my "Me November" - a month of concentration on me, my diet and my health. This is becoming essential as I am truly knackered and my leg is not in a good state. Taking 12 antibiotics a day is taking its toll and doesn't seem to be making progres on the leg! Never mind. Four more big days at work (we do go out with a bang - Weds & Thurs are HUGE) and by Friday, the main season with be over. Phew! The girls and I can have me back.
I am tackling demons. As you have probably gathered, there are very few foods that I don't like. Aubergines are one of them but I feel I should. Yesterday, I intentionally bought one. It is sitting on the side in the kitchen waiting for me to lavish it with the love it demands. They really are the most beautiful vegetable (fruit) - glossy, richly coloured, with that lovely little green cap like Peaseblossom's in A Midsummer Night's Dream. I have looked up recipes online but have concluded that I will make some really herby ratatouille, stuff it into the aubergine and bake it in the oven. I am determined that I will like it - we shall see! I'll let you know tomorrow.
Planning ahead, I am going to have a good week even though it is a busy one. I have made some carrot and coriander soup and am going to keep off the bread. Lots of lemon water. No naughties!
E xx
I am tackling demons. As you have probably gathered, there are very few foods that I don't like. Aubergines are one of them but I feel I should. Yesterday, I intentionally bought one. It is sitting on the side in the kitchen waiting for me to lavish it with the love it demands. They really are the most beautiful vegetable (fruit) - glossy, richly coloured, with that lovely little green cap like Peaseblossom's in A Midsummer Night's Dream. I have looked up recipes online but have concluded that I will make some really herby ratatouille, stuff it into the aubergine and bake it in the oven. I am determined that I will like it - we shall see! I'll let you know tomorrow.
Planning ahead, I am going to have a good week even though it is a busy one. I have made some carrot and coriander soup and am going to keep off the bread. Lots of lemon water. No naughties!
E xx
Friday 23 October 2009
My confession
14st 7lb. oh dear. I am sorry. Must do better.
Anyway, at the beginning of the week, I said I would make a BIG confession. It involves food. It involves greed. In my defense, it was a long time ago and I did learn from it.
I suppose, as a child, I was a petty thief in the making. I clearly remember my brother and I pinching 2p off the back of the Aga and getting discovered. Our punishment was that he wasn't allowed to go to Saturday club at the cinema at all although I was allowed to go but no pocket money for sweets in the interval - I suppose the parents must have thought he was the ring leader (which he could well have been). On another occasion, my younger brother and I pinched a large packet of Victory V's from the village shop - only to discover that I didn't like them. I have never worked out why we didn't throw them in the bin instead of making him eat them all - resulting in the doctor at 2am with my mother thinking he had appendicitis.
However, my true crime came at the age of 11 when I was away at boarding school. You see, each half term you could take sweets back to put in the "tuck cupboard" and then a couple of times a week after tea, we could take an item out of the cupboard as our treat. I have said before that I was a skinny child with a pathetic appetite but I loved sweets (still do!). Well, we usually went back to school on a Sunday night and our sweets didn't go into the tuck cupboard until after breakfast on Monday morning, by which time little Miss Piggy had usually eaten most of hers. However, I had the misfortune to share a room with a very well off girl who bought loads of sweets back but who was really quite indifferent to their charms. She used to sneak some of hers to the back of her knicker drawer and put the rest into the tuck cupboard. Well, you guessed it. I tried and tried but I couldn't resist. The little neglected treats were screaming from their prison, "Eat me, eat me". So, when I happened to find myself alone one afternoon, I quietly sneaked over to her drawers, bent down, heart pounding, opened the drawer, removed the tin, opened the lid, selected a mini mars bar and....der, der, deeeeer (drum roll of drama)......in walked matron. "What are you doing?" she bellowed. "Umm. Umm" came my pathetic, inadequate reply. She gave me a lecture about stealing and said we would say no more about it. I was mortified. I cried. I didn't sleep properly for weeks. I never mentioned it to a soul. I never forgot it. But, the incident took me out of the underworld of crime and out into the world of honesty and integrity. I think I went the other way - I have always had a propensity to give away rather than hoard and am scrupulously above board.
The matter did not, as matron had promised, end there. Five years later, when I was about to go into 6th form, I was being considered for Head of House, a position of some responsibility. I was gaily coming down the stairs one day towards the end of term, just before the announcements of prefects, when I over heard my housemistress (she of the most incredibly scaffolded, gravity-defying bosom you have ever seen!) discussing candidates with the headmistress. Conversation as follows:
Headmistress: "Well surely Elizabeth is the obvious choice."
Housemistress: "Well you would think so on the face of it but (confidential voice) she steals you know".
Headmistress: "Good gracious. You've never mentioned it. That does put a different complexion on things."
Housemistress: "It was some time ago."
Me: "Some time ago. I was eleven. It was one mini mars bar (which I had to put back). You can't hold that against me!"
I didn't of course actually say that. I stood on the stairs (out of view) rigid with mortification and then burning with injustice.
I was made Head of House (but never Head of School - could have been the thieving but......more likely the boys!).
Anyway, confession over. This will not come as a shock to my mother as I drunkenly confessed it to her some years ago.
Lesson learnt: Greed will catch up with you. It stays with you for life. I still feel the shame of that 11 year old (and 16 year old)!
E xx
Anyway, at the beginning of the week, I said I would make a BIG confession. It involves food. It involves greed. In my defense, it was a long time ago and I did learn from it.
I suppose, as a child, I was a petty thief in the making. I clearly remember my brother and I pinching 2p off the back of the Aga and getting discovered. Our punishment was that he wasn't allowed to go to Saturday club at the cinema at all although I was allowed to go but no pocket money for sweets in the interval - I suppose the parents must have thought he was the ring leader (which he could well have been). On another occasion, my younger brother and I pinched a large packet of Victory V's from the village shop - only to discover that I didn't like them. I have never worked out why we didn't throw them in the bin instead of making him eat them all - resulting in the doctor at 2am with my mother thinking he had appendicitis.
However, my true crime came at the age of 11 when I was away at boarding school. You see, each half term you could take sweets back to put in the "tuck cupboard" and then a couple of times a week after tea, we could take an item out of the cupboard as our treat. I have said before that I was a skinny child with a pathetic appetite but I loved sweets (still do!). Well, we usually went back to school on a Sunday night and our sweets didn't go into the tuck cupboard until after breakfast on Monday morning, by which time little Miss Piggy had usually eaten most of hers. However, I had the misfortune to share a room with a very well off girl who bought loads of sweets back but who was really quite indifferent to their charms. She used to sneak some of hers to the back of her knicker drawer and put the rest into the tuck cupboard. Well, you guessed it. I tried and tried but I couldn't resist. The little neglected treats were screaming from their prison, "Eat me, eat me". So, when I happened to find myself alone one afternoon, I quietly sneaked over to her drawers, bent down, heart pounding, opened the drawer, removed the tin, opened the lid, selected a mini mars bar and....der, der, deeeeer (drum roll of drama)......in walked matron. "What are you doing?" she bellowed. "Umm. Umm" came my pathetic, inadequate reply. She gave me a lecture about stealing and said we would say no more about it. I was mortified. I cried. I didn't sleep properly for weeks. I never mentioned it to a soul. I never forgot it. But, the incident took me out of the underworld of crime and out into the world of honesty and integrity. I think I went the other way - I have always had a propensity to give away rather than hoard and am scrupulously above board.
The matter did not, as matron had promised, end there. Five years later, when I was about to go into 6th form, I was being considered for Head of House, a position of some responsibility. I was gaily coming down the stairs one day towards the end of term, just before the announcements of prefects, when I over heard my housemistress (she of the most incredibly scaffolded, gravity-defying bosom you have ever seen!) discussing candidates with the headmistress. Conversation as follows:
Headmistress: "Well surely Elizabeth is the obvious choice."
Housemistress: "Well you would think so on the face of it but (confidential voice) she steals you know".
Headmistress: "Good gracious. You've never mentioned it. That does put a different complexion on things."
Housemistress: "It was some time ago."
Me: "Some time ago. I was eleven. It was one mini mars bar (which I had to put back). You can't hold that against me!"
I didn't of course actually say that. I stood on the stairs (out of view) rigid with mortification and then burning with injustice.
I was made Head of House (but never Head of School - could have been the thieving but......more likely the boys!).
Anyway, confession over. This will not come as a shock to my mother as I drunkenly confessed it to her some years ago.
Lesson learnt: Greed will catch up with you. It stays with you for life. I still feel the shame of that 11 year old (and 16 year old)!
E xx
Thursday 22 October 2009
The knees are crumbling!
14st 7lb. I have just got back from an appointment with the orthopaedic consultant about my knee. Right back at the beginning of my diet journey I said that one of the reasons for dieting is my health, which is not great. At the beginning of August, a friend and I took our girls camping in on the East coast and ended up on a whirly ride in Bridlington. It was fast and furious and if you consider getting crushed repeatedly by your best buddie as she is uncontrollably flung against you to be fun, then this is the ride for you! You hang on for dear life and brace your legs firmly against the bar under your feet. When I left the ride, my legs were like jelly and every muscle ached. Two days later, I woke up to find that my knee would bear no weight whatsoever and I ended up going straight to hospital for an xray. Suffice to say that I was referred to a specialist. During the past couple of months, it has got much better and now, other than aching knees after a long walk, I have no ill effects. However, according to my xrays I am showing early onset arthritis. This is not a great surprise as I have a clicky hip as well. When I asked the consultant what could I do to minimise the problem, surprise, surprise...lose weight!
It is my responsibility to look after my future health and I do think whichever politician it was that said the national health service should refuse to treat people who are seriously overweight for related illnesses until they get to a healthier state, had a point. What would be the point of spending the money on a knee replacement if I am going to continue to exert a great deal of pressure on it? On the drive back, I calculated that, inspite of losing one and a half stone this year, I am still carrying around the equivalent of three quarters of a sack of potatoes in excess weight, all the time. I would struggle to carry such a sack to the end of the lane but I am expecting my knees and hips to support that weight continuously. It is a bit of an eye opener.
I have also realised with shame that I have been in the 14stones since the 5th of September and weighed the same as I weigh now almost a month ago. This has got to stop. I need to really concentrate and get moving. I am really excited about the fact that my major sales at work finish next week (they go out with a bang - horrendous hours and I'm dreading them) but I am going to dedicate November to Elizabeth. I need TLC both physically and mentally. I am going to focus on the family, house and me. Good food, good exercise and some time to breathe. It won't happen, but I am going to try. Listening to Women's Hour on the way to the hospital, it was dedicated to Virginia Woolf and was talking in particular about her book "A Room of One's Own" and how she felt you need space both physically and mentally to be able to flourish. It has been my dream for years to have a room that is only mine - to read, relax, write, sew. In the chaotic world that is this household, we all suffer somewhat from being under each others' feet. There is no where to go if you want peace.
Dream on, Lizzie.......
E xx
It is my responsibility to look after my future health and I do think whichever politician it was that said the national health service should refuse to treat people who are seriously overweight for related illnesses until they get to a healthier state, had a point. What would be the point of spending the money on a knee replacement if I am going to continue to exert a great deal of pressure on it? On the drive back, I calculated that, inspite of losing one and a half stone this year, I am still carrying around the equivalent of three quarters of a sack of potatoes in excess weight, all the time. I would struggle to carry such a sack to the end of the lane but I am expecting my knees and hips to support that weight continuously. It is a bit of an eye opener.
I have also realised with shame that I have been in the 14stones since the 5th of September and weighed the same as I weigh now almost a month ago. This has got to stop. I need to really concentrate and get moving. I am really excited about the fact that my major sales at work finish next week (they go out with a bang - horrendous hours and I'm dreading them) but I am going to dedicate November to Elizabeth. I need TLC both physically and mentally. I am going to focus on the family, house and me. Good food, good exercise and some time to breathe. It won't happen, but I am going to try. Listening to Women's Hour on the way to the hospital, it was dedicated to Virginia Woolf and was talking in particular about her book "A Room of One's Own" and how she felt you need space both physically and mentally to be able to flourish. It has been my dream for years to have a room that is only mine - to read, relax, write, sew. In the chaotic world that is this household, we all suffer somewhat from being under each others' feet. There is no where to go if you want peace.
Dream on, Lizzie.......
E xx
Wednesday 21 October 2009
Wrap up in a duvet
14st 8lb. Today is a day when I feel like lying on the sofa, wrapped in a duvet, watching a soppy film whilst dipping a Mars bar into a mug of hot chocolate.
You will be relieved to know that instead I have made a cup of tea and am writing this, which distracts me from food. I really need to go off into a corner, have a good cry and get it out of my system. This may be easier if I knew what "it" was. I am in a miserable, self pitying mood (as you may have gathered) and feel stuck in a rut. Nothing is working right - my diet, my work, the children, my health. I am absolutely knackered which, of course, does not help my mood. I had more than usual amount of sleep at the weekend but perhaps, like my diet, the journey down and back out weighed the benefit of being good in between. Work is hectic and whatever I do never seems to be quite good enough. The children break up for half term tomorrow and last night gaily asked what we were doing during the holidays - I am working god knows how many hours until next Friday when I'll be so tired I'll be neither use nor ornament, as the saying goes. In addition, it is "Think Pink" day (Breast Cancer) at school tomorrow and they need to dress in pink - they are not really pink girls and the only pink T-shirt I possess is an Ann Summers one that I was given with something obsene on the front - certainly not suitable for school! I will have to do a mercy dash to Tescos. I am suffering the guilt complex of the working mother. To compound the problems, I had to go to the doctor this morning as my bad leg is horrible - I am now on two strong antibiotics for a fortnight to combat cellulitis (so give it three days and I'll have thrush to add to my woes!)
Do you know, I feel better already! A good moan to cyberspace has done some good.
So, to today. I have eaten sensibly and, although not even remotely in the mood, had a good hour's walk with the dog. I should have felt lifted by the glorious colours in the woods and the fact that it wasn't raining as had been forecast, but I didn't. Lucy chased rabbits (to no avail thankfully) and generally ran around just happy to be out. She found a number of dry, crisp rabbit carcasses to relish (my mother calls them rabbit jerky) - why do dogs take such pleasure from such revolting fayre? I almost took on extra protein of my own, in the form of a fairly large spider which must have chosen to swing from a branch at the exact moment that I huffed and puffed my way up the hill towards the stile - as I took a deep breath the spider must have been sucked into the vacuum and splatted onto my tonsils. The poor, very polite looking couple who had the misfortune to arrive at the other side of the stile, looked totally alarmed to find me frantically trying to expel the creature in a most unladylike manner! It was revolting but worked - I'm afraid the spider is no more but at least I am not going to be kept awake imagining the wriggling and multiplication of an active arachnid!
Tonight I am going to a hand bag party - having paid my accountants, the electricity bill, two large car repair bills in addition to the usual household expenses this month, I can't afford a new purse, never mind a new hand bag. However, she's a great friend and entertaining host, so I shall go and help with refreshments (without eating them all) - perhaps I'll skip supper and just go for red wine?!
Tomorrow is another day.
E xx
You will be relieved to know that instead I have made a cup of tea and am writing this, which distracts me from food. I really need to go off into a corner, have a good cry and get it out of my system. This may be easier if I knew what "it" was. I am in a miserable, self pitying mood (as you may have gathered) and feel stuck in a rut. Nothing is working right - my diet, my work, the children, my health. I am absolutely knackered which, of course, does not help my mood. I had more than usual amount of sleep at the weekend but perhaps, like my diet, the journey down and back out weighed the benefit of being good in between. Work is hectic and whatever I do never seems to be quite good enough. The children break up for half term tomorrow and last night gaily asked what we were doing during the holidays - I am working god knows how many hours until next Friday when I'll be so tired I'll be neither use nor ornament, as the saying goes. In addition, it is "Think Pink" day (Breast Cancer) at school tomorrow and they need to dress in pink - they are not really pink girls and the only pink T-shirt I possess is an Ann Summers one that I was given with something obsene on the front - certainly not suitable for school! I will have to do a mercy dash to Tescos. I am suffering the guilt complex of the working mother. To compound the problems, I had to go to the doctor this morning as my bad leg is horrible - I am now on two strong antibiotics for a fortnight to combat cellulitis (so give it three days and I'll have thrush to add to my woes!)
Do you know, I feel better already! A good moan to cyberspace has done some good.
So, to today. I have eaten sensibly and, although not even remotely in the mood, had a good hour's walk with the dog. I should have felt lifted by the glorious colours in the woods and the fact that it wasn't raining as had been forecast, but I didn't. Lucy chased rabbits (to no avail thankfully) and generally ran around just happy to be out. She found a number of dry, crisp rabbit carcasses to relish (my mother calls them rabbit jerky) - why do dogs take such pleasure from such revolting fayre? I almost took on extra protein of my own, in the form of a fairly large spider which must have chosen to swing from a branch at the exact moment that I huffed and puffed my way up the hill towards the stile - as I took a deep breath the spider must have been sucked into the vacuum and splatted onto my tonsils. The poor, very polite looking couple who had the misfortune to arrive at the other side of the stile, looked totally alarmed to find me frantically trying to expel the creature in a most unladylike manner! It was revolting but worked - I'm afraid the spider is no more but at least I am not going to be kept awake imagining the wriggling and multiplication of an active arachnid!
Tonight I am going to a hand bag party - having paid my accountants, the electricity bill, two large car repair bills in addition to the usual household expenses this month, I can't afford a new purse, never mind a new hand bag. However, she's a great friend and entertaining host, so I shall go and help with refreshments (without eating them all) - perhaps I'll skip supper and just go for red wine?!
Tomorrow is another day.
E xx
Tuesday 20 October 2009
Spatial awareness
Quick one tonight as I'm tired, in a grotty mood and smell like a deep fat fryer (from work).
14st8lb. Still. Hummm. No time for exercise as it was a long day at work. Tomorrow however, I am going to go out with the dog for a good walk before I set off to work (if I leave it until afterwards, I always have too much to do in too little time).
Tonight I popped into a friend's after work as she wanted my opinion on some carpet samples. Her husband was trying to convince her that they had plenty of wallpaper left on the roll to finish the wall. I said that he definitely didn't have enough. We even tried to bet against it with dinner at a particularly good restaurant but he wasn't falling for that one. Anyway, I was right. There wasn't enough.
I should have warned him, I am very spatially aware. I can judge whether things can fit into a space and am a very adept parker of car. As a child, my mother used to make blancmanche rabbits for tea, which were a favourite. As there were 4 children (5 eventually but my little brother was an after thought) competition was fierce. The argument was always about who could have the head or the bob tail. However, I never joined in the bickering. I knew from a very early age, that the main body of the rabbit contained the most delicious, creamy, pink blancmanche. Who wants the scrawny little head when you can have a big fat body!! (Bearing in mind, I was a scrawny little kid.)
Anyway, the bath is calling. I will write properly tomorrow. I may even make my confession for you.
E xx
14st8lb. Still. Hummm. No time for exercise as it was a long day at work. Tomorrow however, I am going to go out with the dog for a good walk before I set off to work (if I leave it until afterwards, I always have too much to do in too little time).
Tonight I popped into a friend's after work as she wanted my opinion on some carpet samples. Her husband was trying to convince her that they had plenty of wallpaper left on the roll to finish the wall. I said that he definitely didn't have enough. We even tried to bet against it with dinner at a particularly good restaurant but he wasn't falling for that one. Anyway, I was right. There wasn't enough.
I should have warned him, I am very spatially aware. I can judge whether things can fit into a space and am a very adept parker of car. As a child, my mother used to make blancmanche rabbits for tea, which were a favourite. As there were 4 children (5 eventually but my little brother was an after thought) competition was fierce. The argument was always about who could have the head or the bob tail. However, I never joined in the bickering. I knew from a very early age, that the main body of the rabbit contained the most delicious, creamy, pink blancmanche. Who wants the scrawny little head when you can have a big fat body!! (Bearing in mind, I was a scrawny little kid.)
Anyway, the bath is calling. I will write properly tomorrow. I may even make my confession for you.
E xx
Monday 19 October 2009
Please bear with me
or should that be bare? I think bear.
14st 8lb. This is an outrage on the scale of when I went to Leeds at the beginning of my quest. Have you ever felt you are living life swimming through treacle - well, this is me, stuck in this rut of pathetic weight loss. I'm fed up - you must be fed up. By Friday, I resolve to be back where I was a week ago. God, this weight loss is hard work and a strain on resourses.
Anyway, I have loads to talk about after 5 days away. Some light hearted, some more serious so take what you like from it. Where to start? At the very beginning, as it says in the song.
Last Thursday, I set off to Cornwall. I went into work before 7am and had a very busy day. I made myself have a roast pork dinner as I knew I had a long drive ahead of me - I had no potatoes and only a little gravy. I set off at 4pm, dreading the drive - get on the motorway at Lancaster and, in theory, remain on it to Plymouth - sooooo boring! I would love to say that I only ate the orange and banana that I thoughtfully packed but no, I'm sorry but I would be lying. I actually ate: one banana, one cheese and tomato roll, one pack of sesame seed snaps, 1/2 bag of fruit pastilles, one scone (left over from work - should have thrown it away), one regular cappucino, a Bounty bar (ok, I admit it, a trio - but at least I didn't fall for the "buy 2 for £1.20 offer). What is it about the car? Is it the privacy? You are in your own little world and no one can see you? I get in it and start planning my snacks - I know I shouldn't have let any of it over the threshold but I am a disgrace. I drive along setting targets for when I am allowed to eat my next item. "You can have the other half of that Bounty when you have passed two service stations" - it never works, I've always scoffed it before I pass the first. Thank God I am not a sales rep - I would be the size of a house. I will make a BIG confession later in the week about not being able to resist temptation.
Well, I made steady progress through the various road works and passed Exeter at 10.15pm looking forward to a cup of tea and the electric blanket which had been left on in anticipation of my arrival. I went into roadworks, started to go up a hill and went to change gear - strange grinding noise. Tried again - worse grinding noise. I'm on the M5 and coming to a halt - it's dark and drizzling and my car has stopped in the middle of the M5. Not a good place to be. I let the car free wheel back into the cordoned off bit and rang the AA. "We can't help you until you are in a safe place. Get out of your car. Stand in the central reservation. Put the phone down and ring the police. They will get you out". Thankfully a very nice chap on the other carriageway stopped and arranged for a truck to come and "retrieve" me. They came and took me to Exeter racecourse car park where they left me - pitch black, huge car park and one other car with a man inside. He gets out and tells me he's been waiting for two and a half hours to be recovered. "Don't want to sound funny" he says, "but my car is warm and I have a radio. I'm perfectly safe". Now, I'm not being funny, but is he really going to get out and announce that he's the local pervert. Add to that fact, my car may look like a heap but it does have a heater and a radio too. I ask what is wrong with his car. He has a burst tyre. Hmm. Two and a half hours with a flat tyre. He's safe! Eventually, I am recovered, taken to a local garage (with the clutch gone apparently) given a hire car and finally reach the extremely hot bed at 2.15am. Not the journey I had planned.
However, I awake to a beautiful morning and, partly due to excessive guilt at the food fest in which I had partaken on my journey down, I decide to walk the four miles to Granny's. It involves 2 miles down little roads to Talland Bay and then a further couple of miles along the cliff path to Polperro. It was glorious, invigorating and the perfect start to the day. More of cliff walks later.
I was expecting a change in Gran. I had been warned of change in Gran.
I was not prepared for the change in my Gran. My beautiful Granny is in a tiny, frail, skeletal frame. It is a shock to see someone so diminished. Her vibrancy is gone. She is exhausted with life. How can you continue to sleep when all you do is sleep? We chatted then she dozed. I held her hand and watched her. We reminisced about friends, relatives and happy childhood days. I told her about the girls and their busy lives. She told me I looked healthy, lovely and well. I felt it. She said she has missed my Grandpa every day for over 33 years and is ready to see him again - I feel almost happy for her in a sense.
On the food front, ignoring the excesses of the journey down, I did very well. On Friday I had the delicious crab salad I had been promised, then for supper a chicken leg without the skin. On Saturday, I had muesli for breakfast, Mum's soup for lunch and salmon with roasted vegetables for supper. On Sunday, I had muesli for breakfast, chicken leg and vegetables for lunch...and then a bit of a fest on the way back north...but not as bad as the journey down!
As well as being healthy on the eating front, I had good exercise in long walks with Mum's dog. I am a Yorkshire girl at heart and love Wensleydale. However, there is something so restorative about walking on the cliffs. For me, it is the mixing of elements. Unusually the sea was calm and the sky a vast expanse of blue. It was utterly beautiful and just what I needed to contemplate Granny and life in general. Even in mid October, there were acres of creamy, musky scented honeysuckle, intertwined with brambles and autumnal bracken. In the hedgerows, there were still campions, knapweed, dog daisies, wild thyme and sage. It feeds your senses. I found myself wondering how anyone could go shopping or attend a car boot sale on a Sunday - what a waste of time to restore the rhythm to your life after a busy week.
So, all in all, inspite of two naughty car journeys, I did not deserve a 3lb gain. I am going to weigh myself daily this week to make sure I get back down. It has to be a blip. I have to get moving.
14st 8lb. This is an outrage on the scale of when I went to Leeds at the beginning of my quest. Have you ever felt you are living life swimming through treacle - well, this is me, stuck in this rut of pathetic weight loss. I'm fed up - you must be fed up. By Friday, I resolve to be back where I was a week ago. God, this weight loss is hard work and a strain on resourses.
Anyway, I have loads to talk about after 5 days away. Some light hearted, some more serious so take what you like from it. Where to start? At the very beginning, as it says in the song.
Last Thursday, I set off to Cornwall. I went into work before 7am and had a very busy day. I made myself have a roast pork dinner as I knew I had a long drive ahead of me - I had no potatoes and only a little gravy. I set off at 4pm, dreading the drive - get on the motorway at Lancaster and, in theory, remain on it to Plymouth - sooooo boring! I would love to say that I only ate the orange and banana that I thoughtfully packed but no, I'm sorry but I would be lying. I actually ate: one banana, one cheese and tomato roll, one pack of sesame seed snaps, 1/2 bag of fruit pastilles, one scone (left over from work - should have thrown it away), one regular cappucino, a Bounty bar (ok, I admit it, a trio - but at least I didn't fall for the "buy 2 for £1.20 offer). What is it about the car? Is it the privacy? You are in your own little world and no one can see you? I get in it and start planning my snacks - I know I shouldn't have let any of it over the threshold but I am a disgrace. I drive along setting targets for when I am allowed to eat my next item. "You can have the other half of that Bounty when you have passed two service stations" - it never works, I've always scoffed it before I pass the first. Thank God I am not a sales rep - I would be the size of a house. I will make a BIG confession later in the week about not being able to resist temptation.
Well, I made steady progress through the various road works and passed Exeter at 10.15pm looking forward to a cup of tea and the electric blanket which had been left on in anticipation of my arrival. I went into roadworks, started to go up a hill and went to change gear - strange grinding noise. Tried again - worse grinding noise. I'm on the M5 and coming to a halt - it's dark and drizzling and my car has stopped in the middle of the M5. Not a good place to be. I let the car free wheel back into the cordoned off bit and rang the AA. "We can't help you until you are in a safe place. Get out of your car. Stand in the central reservation. Put the phone down and ring the police. They will get you out". Thankfully a very nice chap on the other carriageway stopped and arranged for a truck to come and "retrieve" me. They came and took me to Exeter racecourse car park where they left me - pitch black, huge car park and one other car with a man inside. He gets out and tells me he's been waiting for two and a half hours to be recovered. "Don't want to sound funny" he says, "but my car is warm and I have a radio. I'm perfectly safe". Now, I'm not being funny, but is he really going to get out and announce that he's the local pervert. Add to that fact, my car may look like a heap but it does have a heater and a radio too. I ask what is wrong with his car. He has a burst tyre. Hmm. Two and a half hours with a flat tyre. He's safe! Eventually, I am recovered, taken to a local garage (with the clutch gone apparently) given a hire car and finally reach the extremely hot bed at 2.15am. Not the journey I had planned.
However, I awake to a beautiful morning and, partly due to excessive guilt at the food fest in which I had partaken on my journey down, I decide to walk the four miles to Granny's. It involves 2 miles down little roads to Talland Bay and then a further couple of miles along the cliff path to Polperro. It was glorious, invigorating and the perfect start to the day. More of cliff walks later.
I was expecting a change in Gran. I had been warned of change in Gran.
I was not prepared for the change in my Gran. My beautiful Granny is in a tiny, frail, skeletal frame. It is a shock to see someone so diminished. Her vibrancy is gone. She is exhausted with life. How can you continue to sleep when all you do is sleep? We chatted then she dozed. I held her hand and watched her. We reminisced about friends, relatives and happy childhood days. I told her about the girls and their busy lives. She told me I looked healthy, lovely and well. I felt it. She said she has missed my Grandpa every day for over 33 years and is ready to see him again - I feel almost happy for her in a sense.
On the food front, ignoring the excesses of the journey down, I did very well. On Friday I had the delicious crab salad I had been promised, then for supper a chicken leg without the skin. On Saturday, I had muesli for breakfast, Mum's soup for lunch and salmon with roasted vegetables for supper. On Sunday, I had muesli for breakfast, chicken leg and vegetables for lunch...and then a bit of a fest on the way back north...but not as bad as the journey down!
As well as being healthy on the eating front, I had good exercise in long walks with Mum's dog. I am a Yorkshire girl at heart and love Wensleydale. However, there is something so restorative about walking on the cliffs. For me, it is the mixing of elements. Unusually the sea was calm and the sky a vast expanse of blue. It was utterly beautiful and just what I needed to contemplate Granny and life in general. Even in mid October, there were acres of creamy, musky scented honeysuckle, intertwined with brambles and autumnal bracken. In the hedgerows, there were still campions, knapweed, dog daisies, wild thyme and sage. It feeds your senses. I found myself wondering how anyone could go shopping or attend a car boot sale on a Sunday - what a waste of time to restore the rhythm to your life after a busy week.
So, all in all, inspite of two naughty car journeys, I did not deserve a 3lb gain. I am going to weigh myself daily this week to make sure I get back down. It has to be a blip. I have to get moving.
Wednesday 14 October 2009
off for a few days
14st 5lb. Weighed myself today, partly to check and partly as I am off to Cornwall tomorrow until Sunday. The rest of the family couldn't survive without the computer so I'll be out of range for the time.
I am going to see my Mum who is looking after my Granny as she is ill. I adore my Granny. She is beautiful, petite (is now a little bird) and has the softest, downiest skin - I used to love to stroke her face as a little girl. However, she is my worst critic. I remember, many years ago, going down to see my great uncle (her brother) who was in the very latter stages of bowel cancer - I hadn't announced I was coming and when I walked through the door, without even saying hello, she said with her lovely Cornish lilt, "oh my dear, you've put so much weight on your face". I retorted with, "I've put a lot on my bottom as well, if you care to look!" Sadly, she is very poorly and frail and, with luck, will simply be pleased to see me and not have the inclination to judge!
Now usually a trip to Polperro means a trip to Looe for warm, just out of the oven, proper Cornish pasties. It's the smell. Believe me, on a clear cold day there is nothing better than sitting on a beach listening to the rhythmic beat of the waves against the beach, pasties warming your hands, just quietly in tune with nature. As children we would run off to explore the rock pools looking for shannies and crabs; search for hours on the beach for my favourite shells (cowries); dig at the top of the beach until we reached water and then tunnel a trench down to the water's edge. At the end of it all, we would run back to Granny and her basket of goodies and tuck into a pasty before setting off to start all over again. Happy days!
This time, no pasties. No pillowy soft splits (little white bread buns) with Gran's raspberry jam and clotted cream. Mum & I are both dieting and have promised not to mislead each other. She has however, arranged a fresh crab salad at the wonderful restaurant across the road ("The Kitchen" if you're ever in Polperro - simply the best!) which will be a perfect Cornish treat.
I will plan for the journey with fruit and a sandwich. I will fill the car with petrol so there is no need for a service station stop. Car journeys are so boring and the temptation to eat is so strong. I will resist. I will report a loss on Monday when I get back.
The cliff path is calling me for some bracing walks!
E xx
I am going to see my Mum who is looking after my Granny as she is ill. I adore my Granny. She is beautiful, petite (is now a little bird) and has the softest, downiest skin - I used to love to stroke her face as a little girl. However, she is my worst critic. I remember, many years ago, going down to see my great uncle (her brother) who was in the very latter stages of bowel cancer - I hadn't announced I was coming and when I walked through the door, without even saying hello, she said with her lovely Cornish lilt, "oh my dear, you've put so much weight on your face". I retorted with, "I've put a lot on my bottom as well, if you care to look!" Sadly, she is very poorly and frail and, with luck, will simply be pleased to see me and not have the inclination to judge!
Now usually a trip to Polperro means a trip to Looe for warm, just out of the oven, proper Cornish pasties. It's the smell. Believe me, on a clear cold day there is nothing better than sitting on a beach listening to the rhythmic beat of the waves against the beach, pasties warming your hands, just quietly in tune with nature. As children we would run off to explore the rock pools looking for shannies and crabs; search for hours on the beach for my favourite shells (cowries); dig at the top of the beach until we reached water and then tunnel a trench down to the water's edge. At the end of it all, we would run back to Granny and her basket of goodies and tuck into a pasty before setting off to start all over again. Happy days!
This time, no pasties. No pillowy soft splits (little white bread buns) with Gran's raspberry jam and clotted cream. Mum & I are both dieting and have promised not to mislead each other. She has however, arranged a fresh crab salad at the wonderful restaurant across the road ("The Kitchen" if you're ever in Polperro - simply the best!) which will be a perfect Cornish treat.
I will plan for the journey with fruit and a sandwich. I will fill the car with petrol so there is no need for a service station stop. Car journeys are so boring and the temptation to eat is so strong. I will resist. I will report a loss on Monday when I get back.
The cliff path is calling me for some bracing walks!
E xx
Tuesday 13 October 2009
The H E diet
14st 5lb. Goody, goody on the way down!
Life is far from boring at the moment as it doesn't allow a moment to be bored, but it could be a little tedious for a blog reader. Basically, it follows this pattern:
4.30am-7am, depending on when I need to be at work. Get up, shower, breakfast, sort girls, scrabble around various pots for dinner money, send them off to school.
Daytime: Work like mad in very busy kitchens.
On a normal day at 3.30-5pm. Go home, make supper, eat supper, sort homework or ironing or cleaning (very rarely sadly - the "deep clean fairy" urgently needs to pay a visit).
8pm-10pm-ish. Collapse in a heap, try to requisition the remote control, answer emails etc, make any necessary phonecalls and, sadly, play scrabble on facebook if I have time.
11pm ish Go to bed. Rarely asleep before midnight.
See, where is the excitment in that? You don't want to know what I had to eat, other than it was not too bad but not my best day either. I was despairing as to what little nugget of interest I could find for you today. Racing towards the end of the day, it came, in the last furlong, from my delightful Uncle David. He is an elegant, true gentleman who loves life, thoroughly appreciates good food and wine and is himself a superb cook. At various times in his life, he has had to take his expanding girth in hand. At present, he is trying the smaller portion, smaller plate method of intake reduction. He told me tonight that his father (who also loved good food) used to, from time to time, follow the "H.E." diet. When I asked what it is, he said the "Halve Everything" diet. Now, when you think about it, that is an instant way to cut calories with absolutely no deprivation (which must be the downfall of virtually every diet) - you can still have a succulent fillet steak with a creamy brandied sauce but half the amount. I could live with that! It would perhaps have room in my dieting world for my "naughty" days - days when only sugary food will fill the void. If you really can't resist that slice of banoffe pie, have it, but only indulge in a small piece instead of the usual chunk. I could see this working. Not that I intend to succumb anyway, but, if I do, a little restraint can't harm can it?
Thank you Uncle David for that food for thought.
E xx
Life is far from boring at the moment as it doesn't allow a moment to be bored, but it could be a little tedious for a blog reader. Basically, it follows this pattern:
4.30am-7am, depending on when I need to be at work. Get up, shower, breakfast, sort girls, scrabble around various pots for dinner money, send them off to school.
Daytime: Work like mad in very busy kitchens.
On a normal day at 3.30-5pm. Go home, make supper, eat supper, sort homework or ironing or cleaning (very rarely sadly - the "deep clean fairy" urgently needs to pay a visit).
8pm-10pm-ish. Collapse in a heap, try to requisition the remote control, answer emails etc, make any necessary phonecalls and, sadly, play scrabble on facebook if I have time.
11pm ish Go to bed. Rarely asleep before midnight.
See, where is the excitment in that? You don't want to know what I had to eat, other than it was not too bad but not my best day either. I was despairing as to what little nugget of interest I could find for you today. Racing towards the end of the day, it came, in the last furlong, from my delightful Uncle David. He is an elegant, true gentleman who loves life, thoroughly appreciates good food and wine and is himself a superb cook. At various times in his life, he has had to take his expanding girth in hand. At present, he is trying the smaller portion, smaller plate method of intake reduction. He told me tonight that his father (who also loved good food) used to, from time to time, follow the "H.E." diet. When I asked what it is, he said the "Halve Everything" diet. Now, when you think about it, that is an instant way to cut calories with absolutely no deprivation (which must be the downfall of virtually every diet) - you can still have a succulent fillet steak with a creamy brandied sauce but half the amount. I could live with that! It would perhaps have room in my dieting world for my "naughty" days - days when only sugary food will fill the void. If you really can't resist that slice of banoffe pie, have it, but only indulge in a small piece instead of the usual chunk. I could see this working. Not that I intend to succumb anyway, but, if I do, a little restraint can't harm can it?
Thank you Uncle David for that food for thought.
E xx
Monday 12 October 2009
On top of the world!
No weigh in until tomorrow but I am hopeful, even though it is the wrong TOTM. I am totally "in the zone" now and dieting at the moment is no effort. Today I woke and had muesli with natural yoghurt, a large bowl of ratatouille for lunch and a baked chicken breast with roasted tomatoes out of the garden and roasted butternut squash, followed by an orange. I am not drinking more than two cups of tea a day. I still haven't remembered to drink ordinary water.
My tiny naughty was picking the bits of boiled over apple from the edge of the apple crumble dish - it is just so sticky, sweet and tempting! I did draw the line at eating a portion of the actual apple crumble.
I went to work which was busy but uneventful. When I got home, I had half an hour before the girls got home from school, so I left a note and took Lucy up to the woods for a walk. It has been a beautiful clear autumn day, with crisp leaves crunching underfoot. It makes you happy to be alive and was a total contrast to my walk last week.
I am concentrating my efforts on not eating much bread or using milk so, although I am no longer detoxing, I am still in fairly strict diet mode. I feel fitter, certainly slimmer and generally healthier. I hope it continues! If I was starting my diet now, I would make sure I took the alarming measurements from all my gross bits so that I could monitor actual reduction - I think I would be making good progress, especially from my waist. The friends with whom we were out on Saturday night sent the photo on the left through - I don't look gross which is something for me to admit!
E xx
My tiny naughty was picking the bits of boiled over apple from the edge of the apple crumble dish - it is just so sticky, sweet and tempting! I did draw the line at eating a portion of the actual apple crumble.
I went to work which was busy but uneventful. When I got home, I had half an hour before the girls got home from school, so I left a note and took Lucy up to the woods for a walk. It has been a beautiful clear autumn day, with crisp leaves crunching underfoot. It makes you happy to be alive and was a total contrast to my walk last week.
I am concentrating my efforts on not eating much bread or using milk so, although I am no longer detoxing, I am still in fairly strict diet mode. I feel fitter, certainly slimmer and generally healthier. I hope it continues! If I was starting my diet now, I would make sure I took the alarming measurements from all my gross bits so that I could monitor actual reduction - I think I would be making good progress, especially from my waist. The friends with whom we were out on Saturday night sent the photo on the left through - I don't look gross which is something for me to admit!
E xx
Sunday 11 October 2009
Is dieting anti-social?
14st 6lb. I know it wasn't a weigh in day but I decided that I was so encouraged by Friday that I would sneak a peak - this time genuine and constant, so valid. Now I'm over half way down the stone towards being in the 13's - it is so exciting!
I did really well at work yesterday and had grapefruit for breakfast and a hard boiled egg with a chopped tomato for lunch. I drank lemon water all day barring one cup of tea. This compromise suits me better - interspersing a healthy fruit tea or lemon water with my normal rations. I still need to win the battle to drink water as habit - after 44 years I suppose it is a hard nut to crack.
Last night, as I had said, we went to friends for dinner. It was a really good evening, including the girls which was great. There were nibbley bits with drinks which was easy as there were peppers and carrot sticks for dipping so I just ignored the dips and a mix of unsalted cashew nuts and walnuts which are perfectly acceptable to detoxing. I ignored the crisps and peanuts. So far, so good. I had a glass of crisp, chilled, dry champagne which was definitely fat free the last time I looked and doesn't taste very sugary - and quite frankly, I am so rarely offered champagne these days that I would have accepted it whatever the contents. Supermodels sup champagne and they are all stick thin. Dinner was self serve chicken with a delicious mushroom & cider sauce and vegetables. At least then you can fill alot of the plate with vegetables and no one notices what you are eating. Pudding was not so successful (it was in the eating, just not for the diet) - a warm almond & plum tart and banoffe pie - I only had a small piece (of each) but it would have been rude not to have. Since I had already been naughty, I couldn't resist 2 biscuits with delicious, tart blue cheese followed by two chocolate mints.
Which brings me to our Sunday topic - is dieting anti-social? I conclude that, yes it is. As I intimated in my last session, my partner is averse to me eating a different meal from the rest of the family (which I try not to do, but steak & kidney pie with a luscious suet crust pastry served with creamy mash and rich gravy is definitely not on the menu for any dieter!). I think going out to dinner at a restaurant is definitely an easier option than going to friends as you can, without mentioning anything or making a fuss, order sensibly from the menu and I always find, in a group of 8 diners, there are at least a couple who decline a pudding so you don't stand out (admittedly, I am never one of the two, but there's always a first time!). Going to friends is a different matter altogether and I'm afraid I've concluded that you just have to forget it (within reason) for the night. The alternative is to cause discomfort among your fellow diners and of course, the host. The real world (outside the diet bubble) involves a variety of foods and levels of fattening-ness and we have to learn to balance them into our daily lives. A high calorie meal can be counter balanced the following day by relative abstinence and therefore, enjoyed with everyone else on the night. My brother, who calls my blog "your witterings", goes on holiday for example, knowing full well that he is most likely to gain about half a stone. He accepts this and acknowledges that it is the price he will pay for thoroughly enjoying every meal out, freely consuming good wine and snacking in a way that he wouldn't at home. When he gets home, however, he immediately gets "back on the horse" and works for the next few weeks to take the excess off. It commands discipline (which isn't my strong point) but does release you from any potential problems that may occur when socialising.
I do tend to offer to drive which, though may seem boring, does remove the chance to consume copious calories in the form of alcohol (although when younger I used to find significant amounts of vodka led to a fascinatingly flat stomach!). Although it is in my nature to home in on the nibbles, setting yourself on the opposite side of the room from the truly tempting ones is one solution. There is something about nibbles that is just so moreish and once you have one, another is inevitably going to follow - it must be because you are ready for dinner and peckish.
I am sure there is nothing more boring than someone twittering on about being on a diet (in fact, thinking about it, I have been wondering why all my friends have a kind of similar glazed expression at the moment - I thought it was a virus that I had been lucky to avoid but maybe......could it be...me...and my diet....blog..???).
So come on fellow dieters, let's get a note of realism into the proceedings. If you can avoid "forbidden fruits" without making anyone else feel awkward then do, but if you can't, don't beat yourself up about it. Don't clean up all the nibbles just because they're there and you haven't had any for weeks. Try not to eat all the chocolates on the plate (especially if you're a bit p**ssed). Do not ask for the plate of chocs/cheese etc to be passed to you - if it's sitting in front of you, you know you will not resist.
Lastly, the following morning, you can not have a fry up for breakfast just because you "broke" your diet the previous evening! You are not a failure and are still dieting.
A good week coming up, I feel.
E xx
PS. Nothing to do with dieting but, is it only me or can only women put loo rolls on the holder?
I did really well at work yesterday and had grapefruit for breakfast and a hard boiled egg with a chopped tomato for lunch. I drank lemon water all day barring one cup of tea. This compromise suits me better - interspersing a healthy fruit tea or lemon water with my normal rations. I still need to win the battle to drink water as habit - after 44 years I suppose it is a hard nut to crack.
Last night, as I had said, we went to friends for dinner. It was a really good evening, including the girls which was great. There were nibbley bits with drinks which was easy as there were peppers and carrot sticks for dipping so I just ignored the dips and a mix of unsalted cashew nuts and walnuts which are perfectly acceptable to detoxing. I ignored the crisps and peanuts. So far, so good. I had a glass of crisp, chilled, dry champagne which was definitely fat free the last time I looked and doesn't taste very sugary - and quite frankly, I am so rarely offered champagne these days that I would have accepted it whatever the contents. Supermodels sup champagne and they are all stick thin. Dinner was self serve chicken with a delicious mushroom & cider sauce and vegetables. At least then you can fill alot of the plate with vegetables and no one notices what you are eating. Pudding was not so successful (it was in the eating, just not for the diet) - a warm almond & plum tart and banoffe pie - I only had a small piece (of each) but it would have been rude not to have. Since I had already been naughty, I couldn't resist 2 biscuits with delicious, tart blue cheese followed by two chocolate mints.
Which brings me to our Sunday topic - is dieting anti-social? I conclude that, yes it is. As I intimated in my last session, my partner is averse to me eating a different meal from the rest of the family (which I try not to do, but steak & kidney pie with a luscious suet crust pastry served with creamy mash and rich gravy is definitely not on the menu for any dieter!). I think going out to dinner at a restaurant is definitely an easier option than going to friends as you can, without mentioning anything or making a fuss, order sensibly from the menu and I always find, in a group of 8 diners, there are at least a couple who decline a pudding so you don't stand out (admittedly, I am never one of the two, but there's always a first time!). Going to friends is a different matter altogether and I'm afraid I've concluded that you just have to forget it (within reason) for the night. The alternative is to cause discomfort among your fellow diners and of course, the host. The real world (outside the diet bubble) involves a variety of foods and levels of fattening-ness and we have to learn to balance them into our daily lives. A high calorie meal can be counter balanced the following day by relative abstinence and therefore, enjoyed with everyone else on the night. My brother, who calls my blog "your witterings", goes on holiday for example, knowing full well that he is most likely to gain about half a stone. He accepts this and acknowledges that it is the price he will pay for thoroughly enjoying every meal out, freely consuming good wine and snacking in a way that he wouldn't at home. When he gets home, however, he immediately gets "back on the horse" and works for the next few weeks to take the excess off. It commands discipline (which isn't my strong point) but does release you from any potential problems that may occur when socialising.
I do tend to offer to drive which, though may seem boring, does remove the chance to consume copious calories in the form of alcohol (although when younger I used to find significant amounts of vodka led to a fascinatingly flat stomach!). Although it is in my nature to home in on the nibbles, setting yourself on the opposite side of the room from the truly tempting ones is one solution. There is something about nibbles that is just so moreish and once you have one, another is inevitably going to follow - it must be because you are ready for dinner and peckish.
I am sure there is nothing more boring than someone twittering on about being on a diet (in fact, thinking about it, I have been wondering why all my friends have a kind of similar glazed expression at the moment - I thought it was a virus that I had been lucky to avoid but maybe......could it be...me...and my diet....blog..???).
So come on fellow dieters, let's get a note of realism into the proceedings. If you can avoid "forbidden fruits" without making anyone else feel awkward then do, but if you can't, don't beat yourself up about it. Don't clean up all the nibbles just because they're there and you haven't had any for weeks. Try not to eat all the chocolates on the plate (especially if you're a bit p**ssed). Do not ask for the plate of chocs/cheese etc to be passed to you - if it's sitting in front of you, you know you will not resist.
Lastly, the following morning, you can not have a fry up for breakfast just because you "broke" your diet the previous evening! You are not a failure and are still dieting.
A good week coming up, I feel.
E xx
PS. Nothing to do with dieting but, is it only me or can only women put loo rolls on the holder?
Friday 9 October 2009
Good, it's shifting
14st7lb. I stood on the scales five times - I had 2x14st7lb and 2x14st6lb. It was tempting just to opt for the 14st6lb (which did come up first, oh ye of little faith!) and decided to do a "best of five". So, I didn't quite make the target for this week but the detox has definitely helped.
Yes, I missed yesterday. I had planned to work all morning, clean at least a small part of this truly filthy house and then go for a walk with Lucy. I ended up doing the first two but then the garage phoned to say my car was ready for collection but would I like an oil change? I managed to get a lift to the garage to collect it - only to sit for one and a half hours for it to be actually ready to take. I hadn't grabbed a coat and so was chilled to the bone by the time I left. So, I missed walking the dog.
Food wise I have done really well for the last two days and haven't found it difficult. For lunch I made vegetable soup with onion, carrots, sweet potatoes, veg stock cube and then coriander added at the end. For supper, I bought everything I needed for a stir fry (onion, fresh ginger, broccoli, baby corn, mange toute, spinach, beansprouts, celery, prawns) and then decided to have the same for supper tonight as they are quite big packets and I would end up wasting too much. Anyway, it was very enjoyable and will be repeated. It makes such a colourful, attactive meal and is really filling. I haven't eaten meat for 3 days which I think is a first. I have been drinking water and lemon water and haven't had a single cup of tea.
The downside of this detox is that I had the most horrendous headache all day yesterday and a mildly nagging one today. Apparently this is normal. It's the lack of tea. It's not worth it and I have to confess to having made myself a cup to sit and write. It is perfect. I can't give it up and have therefore concluded that, what is the point of stopping now.
I wish I could say I felt fantastic. I don't. I ended up having "issues" with his nibs last night. I went to my monthly book group (I hadn't read the book for the second month running which was a little embarrassing) and when I got back, with the resident rotten headache, I said I was going for a bath. He instantly perks up and says, "Leave the water in, darling, and I'll follow you" with meaningful intonation. Sadly for him, a long, hot bath followed by an electric blanket heated bed only meant one thing for me - much needed sleep! Not a happy bunny!
The upshot of this mild altercation is I have concluded that he doesn't really like me dieting. He said yesterday that I have got my flat stomach now (less lumpy might be more acurate!) so why did I need to continue? The small matter of the shelf like backside which is still behind me, or simply the fact that I am still clinically obese? I know it irritates him when I sit down to eat a different meal (but I really can't slip toad in the hole with mashed potatoes & onion gravy into a detox, or indeed any, diet - I could do the vegetables but that wouldn't be entirely satisfying). Tonight he said that he is fully supportive of my dieting and has never said "I don't know why you bother, you'll never do it". Hummm, I don't recognize this support.
Anyway, I have decided to be a little less obvious about being on a diet. I am certainly not giving up. I am well back in the zone.
Big day at work tomorrow and then home to quickly degrease before going out to friends. She knows I'm trying hard so I'm hoping she has catered sympathetically. I'll offer to drive so that I don't need to make excuses not to drink. I will try to get on line but it could be doubtful.
Happy days!
E xx
Yes, I missed yesterday. I had planned to work all morning, clean at least a small part of this truly filthy house and then go for a walk with Lucy. I ended up doing the first two but then the garage phoned to say my car was ready for collection but would I like an oil change? I managed to get a lift to the garage to collect it - only to sit for one and a half hours for it to be actually ready to take. I hadn't grabbed a coat and so was chilled to the bone by the time I left. So, I missed walking the dog.
Food wise I have done really well for the last two days and haven't found it difficult. For lunch I made vegetable soup with onion, carrots, sweet potatoes, veg stock cube and then coriander added at the end. For supper, I bought everything I needed for a stir fry (onion, fresh ginger, broccoli, baby corn, mange toute, spinach, beansprouts, celery, prawns) and then decided to have the same for supper tonight as they are quite big packets and I would end up wasting too much. Anyway, it was very enjoyable and will be repeated. It makes such a colourful, attactive meal and is really filling. I haven't eaten meat for 3 days which I think is a first. I have been drinking water and lemon water and haven't had a single cup of tea.
The downside of this detox is that I had the most horrendous headache all day yesterday and a mildly nagging one today. Apparently this is normal. It's the lack of tea. It's not worth it and I have to confess to having made myself a cup to sit and write. It is perfect. I can't give it up and have therefore concluded that, what is the point of stopping now.
I wish I could say I felt fantastic. I don't. I ended up having "issues" with his nibs last night. I went to my monthly book group (I hadn't read the book for the second month running which was a little embarrassing) and when I got back, with the resident rotten headache, I said I was going for a bath. He instantly perks up and says, "Leave the water in, darling, and I'll follow you" with meaningful intonation. Sadly for him, a long, hot bath followed by an electric blanket heated bed only meant one thing for me - much needed sleep! Not a happy bunny!
The upshot of this mild altercation is I have concluded that he doesn't really like me dieting. He said yesterday that I have got my flat stomach now (less lumpy might be more acurate!) so why did I need to continue? The small matter of the shelf like backside which is still behind me, or simply the fact that I am still clinically obese? I know it irritates him when I sit down to eat a different meal (but I really can't slip toad in the hole with mashed potatoes & onion gravy into a detox, or indeed any, diet - I could do the vegetables but that wouldn't be entirely satisfying). Tonight he said that he is fully supportive of my dieting and has never said "I don't know why you bother, you'll never do it". Hummm, I don't recognize this support.
Anyway, I have decided to be a little less obvious about being on a diet. I am certainly not giving up. I am well back in the zone.
Big day at work tomorrow and then home to quickly degrease before going out to friends. She knows I'm trying hard so I'm hoping she has catered sympathetically. I'll offer to drive so that I don't need to make excuses not to drink. I will try to get on line but it could be doubtful.
Happy days!
E xx
Wednesday 7 October 2009
Back in "the zone" - almost!
No weigh in. I am saving myself for Friday by which time I will magically have shifted the 3lbs to take me to target for the week (14st 6lb).
I am officially back "in the zone", certainly in terms of eating and behaviour but I'm not quite there in terms of attitude. I woke up with little energy, forced myself out of bed and then forced sickly middle daughter into school uniform. She has already had two days off with a sore throat and chest infection and now just has a cold and cough which, lets face it, she could have until next April - the doctor said she shouldn't be off at all but I didn't have the heart to send her looking so poorly. Having said that, I did put her on the sofa at her Auntie B's whilst I went to work and she disturbed my frantic lunchtime rush to say that she couldn't get the Sky to work! How poorly???
Anyway, I had my planned homemade muesli with natural yoghurt and a mug of hot lemon water then left for work. I baked multiples of coffee cake, chocolate cake, Victoria sandwich, tangy lemon drizzle cake, gingerbread and flapjack - and I did not lick a single spoon, dip my finger in icing or eat any tasty morsels left in the tins. What an achievement! I had another mug of hot lemon water.
I then went to the local greengrocers and spent £16 on vegetables and fruit. I was feeling very sanctimonious at the till with a "look at my healthy trolley" kind of pride. It may be necessary to wear a label round my neck saying "DETOXING - beware flatulence!" - my partner always looks a little nervous when he sees a cauliflower being unpacked.
I rushed home, absolutely famished, to prepare our customised baked potatoes - his with butter, salt, sliced homebaked ham and a generous sprinkling of farmhouse mature Cheddar, grilled so that the cheese goes all gooey and bubbling; mine with half a tin of tuna in brine (drained) mixed with a couple of teaspoons of natural yoghurt, some sweetcorn and a good grind of black pepper. He had a cup of tea and I had.....another mug of hot lemon water. He had a piece of chocolate brownie and I cut up an orange.
After lunch I went for a walk with the dog. She could not believe her eyes when I picked up my walking boots - she was pirouetting, chasing her tail and running between the front door and me with all the pent up energy of a seriously neglected labrador. I wish I could report that I bounded across the meadows like a gazelle in spring - sadly, I plodded (quite briskly) round the route with all the enthusiasm of a knackered, old donkey on the beach at Blackpool. To make matters worse, the walk is a favourite of mine, involving quite a lot of uphill work through the woods for the first half but then the glorious sensation of having reached the summit and an easy descent for the second half. The problem was that I got to the top and started the downward section at the same time as all the ruddy hot lemon water decided to do the same! You have to understand at this point that I am just not an "outdoor wee" kind of girl. The thought of popping behind a wall (if I could get over it in the first place) is not appealing - I just know that the minute there was no turning back, the local farmer or the Cheshire branch of the Rambler's Association would appear over the brow of the hill. No, I would have to contain myself. I would have to remember all those pelvic floor exercises from pregnancy days ("your husband will appreciate them, dear!"). The fact that I can't easily recall them is perhaps testament to the fact that I don't think I have one any longer and I am divorced! Instead of enjoying the stunning views across the dale, I was repeating the mantra, "You are far too old to wet yourself". You will be relieved to know I did make it back home, thankfully not meeting anyone wanting to chat en route and have vowed that tomorrow I will not have anything to drink for at least two hours before the walk and will have a wee before I leave. Forward planning, dear!
This is where the attitude comes in - I am just too tired. However, I am determined and have achieved some of my targets today - I have drunk lemon water (4 glasses so I estimate another 3 to go - 2 litres recommended for detoxing); I have walked the dog and I have written this blog in the afternoon. I think the planned diet is a good idea and I feel back on track. Tennis tomorrow.
I have a salmon fillet with spinach ready for supper and a leg of lamb in the oven for the family - we are all sitting down together for a change.
Happily back to dieting (and absolutely no cabbage soup, I promise!).
Exx
Haven't checked out yesterday's website yet but will before my free trial expires.
I am officially back "in the zone", certainly in terms of eating and behaviour but I'm not quite there in terms of attitude. I woke up with little energy, forced myself out of bed and then forced sickly middle daughter into school uniform. She has already had two days off with a sore throat and chest infection and now just has a cold and cough which, lets face it, she could have until next April - the doctor said she shouldn't be off at all but I didn't have the heart to send her looking so poorly. Having said that, I did put her on the sofa at her Auntie B's whilst I went to work and she disturbed my frantic lunchtime rush to say that she couldn't get the Sky to work! How poorly???
Anyway, I had my planned homemade muesli with natural yoghurt and a mug of hot lemon water then left for work. I baked multiples of coffee cake, chocolate cake, Victoria sandwich, tangy lemon drizzle cake, gingerbread and flapjack - and I did not lick a single spoon, dip my finger in icing or eat any tasty morsels left in the tins. What an achievement! I had another mug of hot lemon water.
I then went to the local greengrocers and spent £16 on vegetables and fruit. I was feeling very sanctimonious at the till with a "look at my healthy trolley" kind of pride. It may be necessary to wear a label round my neck saying "DETOXING - beware flatulence!" - my partner always looks a little nervous when he sees a cauliflower being unpacked.
I rushed home, absolutely famished, to prepare our customised baked potatoes - his with butter, salt, sliced homebaked ham and a generous sprinkling of farmhouse mature Cheddar, grilled so that the cheese goes all gooey and bubbling; mine with half a tin of tuna in brine (drained) mixed with a couple of teaspoons of natural yoghurt, some sweetcorn and a good grind of black pepper. He had a cup of tea and I had.....another mug of hot lemon water. He had a piece of chocolate brownie and I cut up an orange.
After lunch I went for a walk with the dog. She could not believe her eyes when I picked up my walking boots - she was pirouetting, chasing her tail and running between the front door and me with all the pent up energy of a seriously neglected labrador. I wish I could report that I bounded across the meadows like a gazelle in spring - sadly, I plodded (quite briskly) round the route with all the enthusiasm of a knackered, old donkey on the beach at Blackpool. To make matters worse, the walk is a favourite of mine, involving quite a lot of uphill work through the woods for the first half but then the glorious sensation of having reached the summit and an easy descent for the second half. The problem was that I got to the top and started the downward section at the same time as all the ruddy hot lemon water decided to do the same! You have to understand at this point that I am just not an "outdoor wee" kind of girl. The thought of popping behind a wall (if I could get over it in the first place) is not appealing - I just know that the minute there was no turning back, the local farmer or the Cheshire branch of the Rambler's Association would appear over the brow of the hill. No, I would have to contain myself. I would have to remember all those pelvic floor exercises from pregnancy days ("your husband will appreciate them, dear!"). The fact that I can't easily recall them is perhaps testament to the fact that I don't think I have one any longer and I am divorced! Instead of enjoying the stunning views across the dale, I was repeating the mantra, "You are far too old to wet yourself". You will be relieved to know I did make it back home, thankfully not meeting anyone wanting to chat en route and have vowed that tomorrow I will not have anything to drink for at least two hours before the walk and will have a wee before I leave. Forward planning, dear!
This is where the attitude comes in - I am just too tired. However, I am determined and have achieved some of my targets today - I have drunk lemon water (4 glasses so I estimate another 3 to go - 2 litres recommended for detoxing); I have walked the dog and I have written this blog in the afternoon. I think the planned diet is a good idea and I feel back on track. Tennis tomorrow.
I have a salmon fillet with spinach ready for supper and a leg of lamb in the oven for the family - we are all sitting down together for a change.
Happily back to dieting (and absolutely no cabbage soup, I promise!).
Exx
Haven't checked out yesterday's website yet but will before my free trial expires.
Tuesday 6 October 2009
Well, I did say Wednesday
14st 9lb. I went downstairs this morning, got the scales out of the cupboard, stood in front of them and said (to myself), "this is not going to be good. You are going to have to lie". However, miracles of miracles, I had lost a pound. I even weighed twice to make sure. I just hope the deserved gain isn't saving itself for when I have been really good and have earned a loss.
Now I just have three pounds to go by Friday.
It is now Tuesday night and I was reading my promises to myself from 48hours ago. So far - I have not had a single mug of lemon water; haven't set foot out of the door with the dog; haven't played tennis at all (and Ben"therelentless"Smith has gone back to Leeds so I have no coach); I am more positive; I am still writing my blog late at night, could go to sleep on a clothes line in the day and the rest of the family will judge whether or not I'm grumpy.
So, only one out of five missions accomplished but there is time yet!
I have been researching following a diet and found an interesting website (http://www.weightlossresources.co.uk/) which lists all the major diets and gives reports on each. I am tempted to become a member as it looks really interesting, is cheaper than any diet club and has loads of advice. I've done a free 24 hour membership which enables you to see what the site has to offer so I'll do some proper investigating tomorrow and will report back.
On a positive note (I said I was more positive!) I have put together a very strict detox type diet for the next 7 days. It will be good for me and will catapult me back into form. I am sick of the blob that confronts me at the moment. It is severe but is loads of fruit, veg, pulses, seeds, yoghurt etc - prepare for flatulence! I will either be glowing and full of energy or utterly exhausted by the end of the week.
Tomorrow I am going to fulfil at least three of my targets.
E xx
PS In celebration of the fact that I am starting a serious detox programme tomorrow, I have polished off what was left of the cinema sweeties that somehow made it into my handbag (probably kindly intended for the children - what a waste!)
Now I just have three pounds to go by Friday.
It is now Tuesday night and I was reading my promises to myself from 48hours ago. So far - I have not had a single mug of lemon water; haven't set foot out of the door with the dog; haven't played tennis at all (and Ben"therelentless"Smith has gone back to Leeds so I have no coach); I am more positive; I am still writing my blog late at night, could go to sleep on a clothes line in the day and the rest of the family will judge whether or not I'm grumpy.
So, only one out of five missions accomplished but there is time yet!
I have been researching following a diet and found an interesting website (http://www.weightlossresources.co.uk/) which lists all the major diets and gives reports on each. I am tempted to become a member as it looks really interesting, is cheaper than any diet club and has loads of advice. I've done a free 24 hour membership which enables you to see what the site has to offer so I'll do some proper investigating tomorrow and will report back.
On a positive note (I said I was more positive!) I have put together a very strict detox type diet for the next 7 days. It will be good for me and will catapult me back into form. I am sick of the blob that confronts me at the moment. It is severe but is loads of fruit, veg, pulses, seeds, yoghurt etc - prepare for flatulence! I will either be glowing and full of energy or utterly exhausted by the end of the week.
Tomorrow I am going to fulfil at least three of my targets.
E xx
PS In celebration of the fact that I am starting a serious detox programme tomorrow, I have polished off what was left of the cinema sweeties that somehow made it into my handbag (probably kindly intended for the children - what a waste!)
Monday 5 October 2009
Encouraging day!
No weigh in - tomorrow, but not holding any hope of a good one.
Had the most manically busy day at work today - I was expecting to be fairly busy but, wow, everyone wanted to eat with us! We got to the end feeling something like you must feel after an unexpected tornado. I decided to have some breakfast (2 Weetabix) before I left in the hope that I wouldn't be hungry and pick. It worked. I had a slice of roast pork on a side plate with a few mushy peas for lunch (at 3:30) and a chicken enchillada for supper.
Tonight I went to the cinema with a group of friends to see "Julie & Julia". It was lovely and has really encouraged me to carry on writing - not because I'm expecting a big book/film deal, but simply because someone may be reading who is enjoying what I am writing. I love the bit when she asks readers to comment so that she can know if anyone is out there - I know exactly how she felt! Anyway, it was a lovely film and an enjoyable evening.
As women do when en masse, we discussed life etc. One of them was discussing how all of her children seemed to gravitate to the bathroom whilst she was having a bath before coming out - why is that? Mine always decide that the moment I lower myself into a hot bath for a bit of peace and relaxation, is the exact moment they need to use the loo or have something that has to be discussed now. It turned out that the daughter was trying to sort out a Carol Vorderman programme for the Nintendo - some "diet and fitness" type thing. She was hoping for a major transformation by now but unfortunately hasn't so far got it to work. Time will tell.
Anyway, it got me thinking about my diet and lack of progress at the moment. The main problem isn't motivation, it's lack of time to think, plan, buy or cook. The mention of Carol Vorderman reminded me of her detox diet. I did a fortnight on it once years ago and felt good on it and lost weight. It came to me that, whilst I am really busy, (which is another 3/4 weeks) I should follow a set diet. That way the thinking is done for me. So, on Wednesday, I am going to sort one out to get me through this sticky period in dieting (I'm working tomorrow). I feel empowered for the first time in days and am feeling motivated again. I want to feel the energy and enthusiasm that I felt in those first couple of weeks.
I'll be fine tomorrow now. Happy again!
E xx
PS Yes, all those friends with me at the cinema, I will admit to eating some Liquorice Allsorts, more than a couple of Thorntons chocolate coated toffees and quite a number of Maltesers. Sorry folks, I'm only human and it was the cinema - at least I didn't buy Butterkist Popcorn!
Had the most manically busy day at work today - I was expecting to be fairly busy but, wow, everyone wanted to eat with us! We got to the end feeling something like you must feel after an unexpected tornado. I decided to have some breakfast (2 Weetabix) before I left in the hope that I wouldn't be hungry and pick. It worked. I had a slice of roast pork on a side plate with a few mushy peas for lunch (at 3:30) and a chicken enchillada for supper.
Tonight I went to the cinema with a group of friends to see "Julie & Julia". It was lovely and has really encouraged me to carry on writing - not because I'm expecting a big book/film deal, but simply because someone may be reading who is enjoying what I am writing. I love the bit when she asks readers to comment so that she can know if anyone is out there - I know exactly how she felt! Anyway, it was a lovely film and an enjoyable evening.
As women do when en masse, we discussed life etc. One of them was discussing how all of her children seemed to gravitate to the bathroom whilst she was having a bath before coming out - why is that? Mine always decide that the moment I lower myself into a hot bath for a bit of peace and relaxation, is the exact moment they need to use the loo or have something that has to be discussed now. It turned out that the daughter was trying to sort out a Carol Vorderman programme for the Nintendo - some "diet and fitness" type thing. She was hoping for a major transformation by now but unfortunately hasn't so far got it to work. Time will tell.
Anyway, it got me thinking about my diet and lack of progress at the moment. The main problem isn't motivation, it's lack of time to think, plan, buy or cook. The mention of Carol Vorderman reminded me of her detox diet. I did a fortnight on it once years ago and felt good on it and lost weight. It came to me that, whilst I am really busy, (which is another 3/4 weeks) I should follow a set diet. That way the thinking is done for me. So, on Wednesday, I am going to sort one out to get me through this sticky period in dieting (I'm working tomorrow). I feel empowered for the first time in days and am feeling motivated again. I want to feel the energy and enthusiasm that I felt in those first couple of weeks.
I'll be fine tomorrow now. Happy again!
E xx
PS Yes, all those friends with me at the cinema, I will admit to eating some Liquorice Allsorts, more than a couple of Thorntons chocolate coated toffees and quite a number of Maltesers. Sorry folks, I'm only human and it was the cinema - at least I didn't buy Butterkist Popcorn!
Sunday 4 October 2009
What is it all about?
No weigh in which is probably a good job. Sorry there was no blog yesterday but, by the time I got in it was after midnight, I was exhausted and went straight to bed.
I got up this morning and was in one of those, "What is it all for?" moods. I assume everyone gets them. My feet seem to barely touch the ground at the moment and I feel drained. If I was offered a croft in Scotland for a month, I would bite their hand off.
Having said that, I had a pleasant day yesterday. I went to work early to get some baking done for the next couple of days then I went, alone for a change, to Darlington to get my hair cut. I had the unfortunate experience with the Edward Scissorhands girl in Leeds a few weeks ago and since then, the situation has only got worse. I cracked on Friday and rang Saks to ask for an appointment with Trish - only to be told that she left 5 months ago. Deary me, it really is time for a cut. I was apparently in the hands of Richard. I asked him to transform me (tempting to push it and ask him to transform me into the stunning girl in the picture on the wall with beautiful hair and not wearing very much, but there are limits). Well, I had an hour and a half of pampering in very accomplished hands. I do believe each individual hair had specific attention. Even more amazingly, I was transformed - from a rather ragged sheepdog into a sleek, shiny, pleased-with-herself sophisticated pup (can't think of a suitable breed!). I went out for a meal with friends last night (no, I was not very good but it was very good) and got lots of "ooh, I love your hair" type of comments and felt happy as larry.
I woke up this morning looking like me, but with shorter hair. I doubt anyone will even notice I've had it cut. C'est la vie.
Anyway, today got off to a bad start, with me grovelling to a lovely chap for whom I cook meals as he wanted 80 for his freezer and I haven't got time to cook them for at least another fortnight. Then I looked at my emails and there was one from the lovely photographers saying they would be with me by 9am to finally nail the cover shot for the book. Zut alors, it was already 8:10! I ran upstairs and threw on some clothes; put a lemon drizzle cake, some fairy cakes and some chocolate brownies in the oven; drove at speed up to Hawes to grab a couple of cakes I made yesterday; came back and made a batch of scones, whipped some cream, made icing for the buns and lemon syrup for the cake; brewed a pot of coffee - just in time for them to walk in the door at 9.02am - fast work! We then spent the morning in Swaledale in the sunshine with a clear blue sky, where they took the most fantastic photograph possible and all seemed well with the world. I came back, grabbed a chicken sandwich and spent until 6pm at work preparing for tomorrows sale. I came back, ironed clothes for tomorrow, spoke to Mum who is feeling miserable in Cornwall as Gran is unwell...and then finally sat down to speak to my middle daughter for what seems like the first time in days.
I am always busy, always broke and never seem to have time for the children.
Which brings me to the subject of "working mother's breed overweight children" or some such rubbish that was in the news this week. Pile it on, why don't you? (the guilt, not the food on their plates) Apparently, we working mothers are so fraught that we ply our kids with junk food and then force them to watch hours of television because we haven't got time for them. I have to admit that life is easier now that I appear to be more of an embarrassment to them than a necessity. The last thing they want is a guilty mother cajoling them into a hearty walk together - they might at a push do a bike ride I suppose, but I am always afraid of blocking the traffic with my wide load. However, it is a number of days since we all sat down to dinner together and I seem to have barely seen them in days. I hate it when life is like this, especially when there doesn't seem to be a light at the end of the tunnel until the main season finishes in November (then we start preparing for Christmas - oh God, help me!).
This week I have a number of promises to myself:
1) I am going to drink lemon water instead of tea at least twice a day
2) The dog is going for a good walk at least three times before Friday
3) I will play tennis at least twice
4) I will try to be more positive and stop being a misery
5) I will write my blog earlier in the evening/day so that I am not a tired, grumpy old cow!
Wish me luck. I have 4lbs to go before Friday - in fact, after the delicious dinner with red wine last night, I suspect it could be a record breaking 5!
A good week ahead I hope.
E xx
I got up this morning and was in one of those, "What is it all for?" moods. I assume everyone gets them. My feet seem to barely touch the ground at the moment and I feel drained. If I was offered a croft in Scotland for a month, I would bite their hand off.
Having said that, I had a pleasant day yesterday. I went to work early to get some baking done for the next couple of days then I went, alone for a change, to Darlington to get my hair cut. I had the unfortunate experience with the Edward Scissorhands girl in Leeds a few weeks ago and since then, the situation has only got worse. I cracked on Friday and rang Saks to ask for an appointment with Trish - only to be told that she left 5 months ago. Deary me, it really is time for a cut. I was apparently in the hands of Richard. I asked him to transform me (tempting to push it and ask him to transform me into the stunning girl in the picture on the wall with beautiful hair and not wearing very much, but there are limits). Well, I had an hour and a half of pampering in very accomplished hands. I do believe each individual hair had specific attention. Even more amazingly, I was transformed - from a rather ragged sheepdog into a sleek, shiny, pleased-with-herself sophisticated pup (can't think of a suitable breed!). I went out for a meal with friends last night (no, I was not very good but it was very good) and got lots of "ooh, I love your hair" type of comments and felt happy as larry.
I woke up this morning looking like me, but with shorter hair. I doubt anyone will even notice I've had it cut. C'est la vie.
Anyway, today got off to a bad start, with me grovelling to a lovely chap for whom I cook meals as he wanted 80 for his freezer and I haven't got time to cook them for at least another fortnight. Then I looked at my emails and there was one from the lovely photographers saying they would be with me by 9am to finally nail the cover shot for the book. Zut alors, it was already 8:10! I ran upstairs and threw on some clothes; put a lemon drizzle cake, some fairy cakes and some chocolate brownies in the oven; drove at speed up to Hawes to grab a couple of cakes I made yesterday; came back and made a batch of scones, whipped some cream, made icing for the buns and lemon syrup for the cake; brewed a pot of coffee - just in time for them to walk in the door at 9.02am - fast work! We then spent the morning in Swaledale in the sunshine with a clear blue sky, where they took the most fantastic photograph possible and all seemed well with the world. I came back, grabbed a chicken sandwich and spent until 6pm at work preparing for tomorrows sale. I came back, ironed clothes for tomorrow, spoke to Mum who is feeling miserable in Cornwall as Gran is unwell...and then finally sat down to speak to my middle daughter for what seems like the first time in days.
I am always busy, always broke and never seem to have time for the children.
Which brings me to the subject of "working mother's breed overweight children" or some such rubbish that was in the news this week. Pile it on, why don't you? (the guilt, not the food on their plates) Apparently, we working mothers are so fraught that we ply our kids with junk food and then force them to watch hours of television because we haven't got time for them. I have to admit that life is easier now that I appear to be more of an embarrassment to them than a necessity. The last thing they want is a guilty mother cajoling them into a hearty walk together - they might at a push do a bike ride I suppose, but I am always afraid of blocking the traffic with my wide load. However, it is a number of days since we all sat down to dinner together and I seem to have barely seen them in days. I hate it when life is like this, especially when there doesn't seem to be a light at the end of the tunnel until the main season finishes in November (then we start preparing for Christmas - oh God, help me!).
This week I have a number of promises to myself:
1) I am going to drink lemon water instead of tea at least twice a day
2) The dog is going for a good walk at least three times before Friday
3) I will play tennis at least twice
4) I will try to be more positive and stop being a misery
5) I will write my blog earlier in the evening/day so that I am not a tired, grumpy old cow!
Wish me luck. I have 4lbs to go before Friday - in fact, after the delicious dinner with red wine last night, I suspect it could be a record breaking 5!
A good week ahead I hope.
E xx
Friday 2 October 2009
End of week 7
14st 10lb. So, a 2lb gain this week. I am disappointed in myself and also worried that you must all be losing faith with me by now. Please don't - I'm as determined as ever and it's a blip.
After the disappointment of Wednesday, I had a really good day. I ate grapefruit for breakfast, a fruit salad for lunch (kiwi, orange & grapes) and salmon salad for dinner. Yesterday, during my 21 hours marathon at work, I ate the ends of a tea loaf, without butter at 6.30am; 2 pieces of toast with baked beans at 5.30pm then 2 pieces of toast with damson jam and a cup of tea at 2.30am when I got home. A friend suggested trying boiling water with fresh lemon squeezed into it. I am always concerned that I drink too much tea so I thought I would give it a try. Boiling water reminds me of school days at breakfast. For some reason I liked it - we had little melamine, pale green cups which gave the water a really distinctive smell and slightly sweet taste. So, yesterday, I had one cup of tea and then numerous cups of lemon water - I will keep it up as it is so much more pleasant than fruit teas. Hardly a nutritious day but not exactly calorific or naughty either!
We have been discussing how difficult it is to lose weight at work. One of my colleagues (who I call "the guru" because she knows everything about work at the Mart and is my right hand woman, but Ben calls "the terminator" because she is a machine that functions perfectly for hours on end without seeming to get tired!) suggested that I put weight on during these busy days when I work relentlessly without eating much, because I fry so much food that the fat is absorbed through my skin (I certainly smell as if I do - local dogs follow me up the street, sniffing as if I am edible). I quite like that theory, it makes me feel better!
I have just seen Stephen Fry on the television - he has lost so much weight and looks at least 10 years younger. He was asked what his motivation was for starting his diet - he replied that he didn't have one - he got a stomach bug and decided to carry on! Perfect.
I am really tired. Suffice to say, tomorrow is another day. This week I am going to do 4lb - 2lb for the gain from this week and 2lb for next week. I am going to exercise and enjoy healthy living.
More tomorrow.
E xx
After the disappointment of Wednesday, I had a really good day. I ate grapefruit for breakfast, a fruit salad for lunch (kiwi, orange & grapes) and salmon salad for dinner. Yesterday, during my 21 hours marathon at work, I ate the ends of a tea loaf, without butter at 6.30am; 2 pieces of toast with baked beans at 5.30pm then 2 pieces of toast with damson jam and a cup of tea at 2.30am when I got home. A friend suggested trying boiling water with fresh lemon squeezed into it. I am always concerned that I drink too much tea so I thought I would give it a try. Boiling water reminds me of school days at breakfast. For some reason I liked it - we had little melamine, pale green cups which gave the water a really distinctive smell and slightly sweet taste. So, yesterday, I had one cup of tea and then numerous cups of lemon water - I will keep it up as it is so much more pleasant than fruit teas. Hardly a nutritious day but not exactly calorific or naughty either!
We have been discussing how difficult it is to lose weight at work. One of my colleagues (who I call "the guru" because she knows everything about work at the Mart and is my right hand woman, but Ben calls "the terminator" because she is a machine that functions perfectly for hours on end without seeming to get tired!) suggested that I put weight on during these busy days when I work relentlessly without eating much, because I fry so much food that the fat is absorbed through my skin (I certainly smell as if I do - local dogs follow me up the street, sniffing as if I am edible). I quite like that theory, it makes me feel better!
I have just seen Stephen Fry on the television - he has lost so much weight and looks at least 10 years younger. He was asked what his motivation was for starting his diet - he replied that he didn't have one - he got a stomach bug and decided to carry on! Perfect.
I am really tired. Suffice to say, tomorrow is another day. This week I am going to do 4lb - 2lb for the gain from this week and 2lb for next week. I am going to exercise and enjoy healthy living.
More tomorrow.
E xx
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