14st5lb. Ok, so that's not so good. However, in my defense, if it weren't for you lot, I would ignore the scales like the rest of the nation until at least the middle of January until normality is restored. I shall commit now to be down to at least a straight 14st by the middle of January.
I have been a really useless dieter during this blog. On a positive note, I started the year weighing 16st 3lb and feeling utterly crap about myself. I am finishing it weighing almost 2stone less and feeling ok-ish about myself physically and very positive and happy internally, so there has been big progress. I feel as if I am about to motor.
I am going to sign off now as we are going out to supper and then knocking back the odd drink or two before midnight. I will do reflection another day (soon). I am going to get back to regular postings when life settles down again in the new year.
I wish every one a very happy, healthy and fulfilling year ahead.
Loads of love to all,
E xx
Thursday 31 December 2009
Wednesday 30 December 2009
I'll go with Kestrel
"What is life if we cannot enjoy with friends and family at this lovely time." I quite agree. In fact you have neatly led me into my rant for the Christmas period.
Now, before I start I have to admit that I am not a fan of shopping at the best of times, but particularly when I am broke. I loathe abject materialism and the spend, spend, spend culture in which we live.
So, my rant. On Christmas Eve I was fortunate enough to settle down with two out of three of my girls, along with Bruce to watch A Christmas Carol. My eldest had gone out to work at the local pub and had bought in a glass with an icecube and told me to open the present from her boyfriend - a bottle of Baileys - perfect. I love that film and the message it gives. Now the bit that stood out most to me was when Bob Cratchitt is going at the end of the day on Christmas Eve and Scrooge says something along the lines of, "You'll be wanting the day off tomorrow I suppose!" and Cratchitt replies,"if it's not too inconvenient, it is Christmas Day" and Scrooge shouts at him that of course it's inconvenient and that he must get in extra early on Boxing Day to make up for it. He had one day with his beautiful family.
We have returned to the days of Scrooge. The news on Boxing Day was full of the sales and the millions of pounds spent and the thousands of people who hit the shops. I hate the thought of all those people who are unable to enjoy even two days with their families and friends before they rush off to spend even more money that they don't necessarily have. The sight of young women standing to be photographed with their collection of designer bags which, even in the sales, had cost them well over a thousand pounds, probably on credit.
However, my sympathies do not lie with the mindless idiots who worship at the altar of consumerism but with the poor people who have to work in the shops. When I left university, the Metro Centre in Gateshead was just about to open and I got a job in Currys as a graduate manager. It was standard that you worked on a Saturday and in the 9 months that I was employed by them, I had one Saturday reluctantly granted to go to a wedding. I was lucky that, in those days, there was no Sunday trading, otherwise I am sure that working on a Sunday would have been expected aswell. All those thousands of families whose holidays are cut short because a parent/sibling/daughter/son has to return to work after just one day, just so that people can go shopping. It is so sad. Family life is being eroded by greed. This is not written from a religious angle, although I do find it difficult to reconcile the basic principles of living a Christian life with what we have reduced the Christmas celebrations to, but just from the point of view of the family.
Anyway, enough ranting. I shall return tomorrow with reflections from 2009 and looking ahead to 2010 (and I suppose, my weight!).
E xx
Now, before I start I have to admit that I am not a fan of shopping at the best of times, but particularly when I am broke. I loathe abject materialism and the spend, spend, spend culture in which we live.
So, my rant. On Christmas Eve I was fortunate enough to settle down with two out of three of my girls, along with Bruce to watch A Christmas Carol. My eldest had gone out to work at the local pub and had bought in a glass with an icecube and told me to open the present from her boyfriend - a bottle of Baileys - perfect. I love that film and the message it gives. Now the bit that stood out most to me was when Bob Cratchitt is going at the end of the day on Christmas Eve and Scrooge says something along the lines of, "You'll be wanting the day off tomorrow I suppose!" and Cratchitt replies,"if it's not too inconvenient, it is Christmas Day" and Scrooge shouts at him that of course it's inconvenient and that he must get in extra early on Boxing Day to make up for it. He had one day with his beautiful family.
We have returned to the days of Scrooge. The news on Boxing Day was full of the sales and the millions of pounds spent and the thousands of people who hit the shops. I hate the thought of all those people who are unable to enjoy even two days with their families and friends before they rush off to spend even more money that they don't necessarily have. The sight of young women standing to be photographed with their collection of designer bags which, even in the sales, had cost them well over a thousand pounds, probably on credit.
However, my sympathies do not lie with the mindless idiots who worship at the altar of consumerism but with the poor people who have to work in the shops. When I left university, the Metro Centre in Gateshead was just about to open and I got a job in Currys as a graduate manager. It was standard that you worked on a Saturday and in the 9 months that I was employed by them, I had one Saturday reluctantly granted to go to a wedding. I was lucky that, in those days, there was no Sunday trading, otherwise I am sure that working on a Sunday would have been expected aswell. All those thousands of families whose holidays are cut short because a parent/sibling/daughter/son has to return to work after just one day, just so that people can go shopping. It is so sad. Family life is being eroded by greed. This is not written from a religious angle, although I do find it difficult to reconcile the basic principles of living a Christian life with what we have reduced the Christmas celebrations to, but just from the point of view of the family.
Anyway, enough ranting. I shall return tomorrow with reflections from 2009 and looking ahead to 2010 (and I suppose, my weight!).
E xx
Sunday 27 December 2009
Christmas - no time for scales!
Well, I'm sure I could find the time for scales, but I haven't found the inclination yet. I promise to get round to it soon.
I left you as Bruce came in from the pub at midnight with a snowball. He threw it straight at me and it landed on my chin - from cosy, warm and comfortable to sodden in freezing snow in a second. Suffice to say, I am plotting revenge! The only problem is that whatever I do to him, it will come back to me with knobs on (in a manner of speaking). Any suggestions?
Actually, I haven't been too bad with food until last night when my brother, wife, children aswell as a friend renowned for excess alcohol consumption, came to dinner. As I pointed out when blogging last week, food on it's own is controllable, just, but, combine it with wine and all sense of reason went off with Santa. We had a buffet for a start which was laid out on the table at which we all congregated, which meant we just carried on picking. We had champagne before supper and then quaffed our way through far too much red, white, fizzy wine and then Baileys. Disaster. This morning I couldn't believe how many boxes/tins of chocs had been consumed, as well as nuts/raisins, vast quantities of cheese and even dates. I woke up this morning feeling like a blob (but with no headache - bonus!)
Tonight we are going out to dinner with a big group of friends so another challenge. A boozy bunch. I have a feeling that January is going to be very abstemious to make up for a very naughty December.
We have had a lovely Christmas. Although we have had loads on the calendar, it has all been non stressed and relaxed, full of friendship and welcome. I am so well aware that not everyone has the same sense of joy (and have been there myself). It's serious subject Sunday but I am not in serious mode so I am going to save my important lecture for another day. My lovely brother and nephew kept joking (at least I think they were) that they had to watch what they said as it would end up on my blog. At one stage, my nephew (aged 18) walked passed and mumbled, "oh god, that's one for the blog" but unfortunately, I was a little too inebriated to remember the incident - you're in luck Charlie!
Anyway, better get my map drawn up for the mouse hunt round the village tomorrow evening - hot chocolate and reindeer buns afterwards with games and singing in church - nothing too holy just good fun. The trees look gorgeous. I'll take some photos tomorrow.
E xx
I hope anonymous found the advent windows and has stopped having nightmares!
I left you as Bruce came in from the pub at midnight with a snowball. He threw it straight at me and it landed on my chin - from cosy, warm and comfortable to sodden in freezing snow in a second. Suffice to say, I am plotting revenge! The only problem is that whatever I do to him, it will come back to me with knobs on (in a manner of speaking). Any suggestions?
Actually, I haven't been too bad with food until last night when my brother, wife, children aswell as a friend renowned for excess alcohol consumption, came to dinner. As I pointed out when blogging last week, food on it's own is controllable, just, but, combine it with wine and all sense of reason went off with Santa. We had a buffet for a start which was laid out on the table at which we all congregated, which meant we just carried on picking. We had champagne before supper and then quaffed our way through far too much red, white, fizzy wine and then Baileys. Disaster. This morning I couldn't believe how many boxes/tins of chocs had been consumed, as well as nuts/raisins, vast quantities of cheese and even dates. I woke up this morning feeling like a blob (but with no headache - bonus!)
Tonight we are going out to dinner with a big group of friends so another challenge. A boozy bunch. I have a feeling that January is going to be very abstemious to make up for a very naughty December.
We have had a lovely Christmas. Although we have had loads on the calendar, it has all been non stressed and relaxed, full of friendship and welcome. I am so well aware that not everyone has the same sense of joy (and have been there myself). It's serious subject Sunday but I am not in serious mode so I am going to save my important lecture for another day. My lovely brother and nephew kept joking (at least I think they were) that they had to watch what they said as it would end up on my blog. At one stage, my nephew (aged 18) walked passed and mumbled, "oh god, that's one for the blog" but unfortunately, I was a little too inebriated to remember the incident - you're in luck Charlie!
Anyway, better get my map drawn up for the mouse hunt round the village tomorrow evening - hot chocolate and reindeer buns afterwards with games and singing in church - nothing too holy just good fun. The trees look gorgeous. I'll take some photos tomorrow.
E xx
I hope anonymous found the advent windows and has stopped having nightmares!
Tuesday 22 December 2009
Work is done
14st2lbs. Work is now over until after Christmas and I am looking forward to a couple of days of getting organised, baking with carols in the background, picking greenery down the beck (our own beck so we are allowed) and finishing decorating the house. I have a couple of little pressies to buy but nothing major so I will battle up to Hawes if the snow permits in the morning. I was hoping to entertain some of the lovely oldies from the Day Centre at the Christmas Tree Festival but I have a feeling the snow is going to stop them being able to come. I want to drag my reluctant children round to see some housebound elderly people, but they don't appear to be feeling very generous with their time. Middle daughter in particular is very good with mature people, with a sweet smile and an easy conversation. I live in hope and think they will change their minds. I saw an alarming statistic today about the amount of elderly people who are on their own at Christmas - it must be horribly lonely for them so if all my readers try to find 10 minutes to pop in on a housebound neighbour, we will have cheered the day of at least half a dozen.
I have had a really good week - personally but certainly not on the diet front. I have been conscious of trying to behave but failing miserably. It is amazing how it affects your psyche - I have been feeling like a beached whale for the past few days, imagining that my clothes are going to be tight/I look fat/I feel unattractive, etc, so this morning I made myself get on the scales expecting to be around 14st 6lb - imagine my surprise at 14st 2lb. I moved the scales three times just to check it wasn't a sad joke. I immediately felt slimmer/full of beans/happier! Oh shallow woman.
I have posted in mince pies like letters in a postbox. However, I have been busy (what's new?). Bruce mashed his finger under a breeze block and so I (very generously I thought) got up with him to feed the stock etc on the farm and fodder up the sheep on the fell. It was so worth it when we got the most amazing sunrise - bright red flashes across the sky casting a stunning pink hue over the fells. You just stand in the field, thigh deep in snow, awe-struck at the magnificence of the view. The photo above does not do justice but gives you a flavour. Talking of snow, there is no better exercise - it's a total body work out and my legs are exhausted! On the aforementioned morning, we were walking back to the landrover when I literally fell into a drift. Bruce asked me why on earth I had gone the way I had and I said that I was following the tracks of the sheep, assuming that they would take the shallowest route. He fell about laughing pointing out that I was following the tracks of a small, light rabbit!
I have had a really good week - personally but certainly not on the diet front. I have been conscious of trying to behave but failing miserably. It is amazing how it affects your psyche - I have been feeling like a beached whale for the past few days, imagining that my clothes are going to be tight/I look fat/I feel unattractive, etc, so this morning I made myself get on the scales expecting to be around 14st 6lb - imagine my surprise at 14st 2lb. I moved the scales three times just to check it wasn't a sad joke. I immediately felt slimmer/full of beans/happier! Oh shallow woman.
I have posted in mince pies like letters in a postbox. However, I have been busy (what's new?). Bruce mashed his finger under a breeze block and so I (very generously I thought) got up with him to feed the stock etc on the farm and fodder up the sheep on the fell. It was so worth it when we got the most amazing sunrise - bright red flashes across the sky casting a stunning pink hue over the fells. You just stand in the field, thigh deep in snow, awe-struck at the magnificence of the view. The photo above does not do justice but gives you a flavour. Talking of snow, there is no better exercise - it's a total body work out and my legs are exhausted! On the aforementioned morning, we were walking back to the landrover when I literally fell into a drift. Bruce asked me why on earth I had gone the way I had and I said that I was following the tracks of the sheep, assuming that they would take the shallowest route. He fell about laughing pointing out that I was following the tracks of a small, light rabbit!
So, the snow has been amazing (and still is as it adds more each day). The downside is that I missed taking the girls to Dad's for the weekend and therefore missed their Christmas lunch on Sunday. Unfortunately, though I don't think Dad believes me, the snow was just too thick to safely drive in.
Bruce has come in from the pub, armed with a snowball (I am in bed, laptop on knees, with the electric blanket) - this is not looking good.
I will return tomorrow.
E xx
Wednesday 16 December 2009
Mince pies & Christmas food!
Here are a couple of the windows in Askrigg to give you a flavour of what they are about - the one with the trees is in a box and made with perfectly cut out shapes in layers of white card - if you look carefully you can just see the deer in the mist at the bottom and of course, Father Christmas flying across the sky looking for Askrigg (and your house of course!). If you google Askrigg Advent Windows it brings up the site - I am being a little cautious as, when I highlighted the windows on here and then put the website on the posters for people all over the world to see the artwork, they were all automatically directed to my blog - so now half of the village and their relatives know my excessive weight and insecurities! Most embarrassing when buying a pint of milk in the village shop. When the trees are all up and running (the festival, not the actual trees) I will photo some of those and put them on here too (thank you Kestrel for asking me to). I shall take this opportunity to be a good disciple and recommend you all pop along to your local church and find out what's going on over Christmas - you will feel so renewed, uplifted and happier if you sing a few carols, say a few prayers and generally have a little reflection.
Last night I decided to take the bull by the horns and stop just thinking about the window that I have to do by the weekend (I am the 20th). So, I put on some festive music and got out the scissors. As I started to tentatively snip, I got the urge to enjoy a glass of sloe gin whilst being creative. I had a lovely couple of hours sipping gin happily and amazingly none of the vital elements of the design fell out having snipped the wrong bit. I was most chuffed. Now I have the other half to do and then it will be ready for installation.
I have been thinking about festivities and excess and food. As I said a couple of days ago, I was brought up short thinking that, if I didn't watch it, I was going to be heading back up the ladder to misery pretty darn quick and I had to put the brakes on my excessive consumption. I have stuck with it and had a good couple of days (I have to confess to having just made 7 dozen mince pies and couldn't resist one, slightly warm, with my cup of tea as I sat down to write this - only one, but naughty). This is the problem. All the food at Christmas is so inviting, so easy to consume and so available. Not all of it is unhealthy (turkey) but alot of it is (mince pies, chocolates, christmas pud, chipolatas, roasties......the list goes on and on). According to the Daily Mail (where would I be for subject matter if it were not for my mindless paper?) we are preprogrammed to eat too much - it is high fat, low fibre food and doesn't fill us up for long enough. One solution they offer is to sit next to someone thin. They may have a point. They say it's because a thin person is quite likely to take a smaller portion and you won't want to seem like the prize porker (my words not theirs) but I would say that sitting next to my two gorgeous, slim, younger step-sisters makes me feel like the prize porker anyway, never mind how much they are eating. It plays havoc with your self esteem going to Dad's - beautiful step sisters aside, he has a huge, well lit mirror in the bathroom, from which there is no escape when you get out of the shower (actually, if I try a very hot shower it may steam it up). The only other alternative is to put your contact lenses in to turn on the shower and get it to the right temperature, then take them out, get undressed, shower, get out, dry, re-dress and only then put your lenses in - I am so short sighted that I will look like a blurry Rubenesque model having a shower). I also know to avoid too much alcohol (not only to avoid dancing on the tables at the pub) but after a few gins then wine, topped off with a couple of Baileys, all thoughts of diet or abstinence go out of the window - half a tin of Quality Street can be wolfed down in minutes, swilled down with further glasses of Baileys and all of January's calorie allowance. Must think of knees and hips.....joy, oh joy!
Anyway, must dash - off to Tescos/poundstretcher to find blue baubles for my "For those in peril on the sea" themed Christmas Tree, with a nod and a prayer towards Cornwall where Mum and Gran languish in uneasy misery, nursing ill health. Then going to an outdoor concert in Leyburn to support a very talented lad from Emily's school who has organised it - must avoid mince pies and mulled wine.
E xx
Monday 14 December 2009
Halo is shining
14st 3lb. Well, I feel as if I have been reprieved. As I admitted yesterday, I have been avoiding the scales and eating too much. I think it must have been slightly balanced by the good, long walks with Lucy.
I have had a lovely, hard working day today, predominantly in church getting set up for the Christmas Tree Festival. We have set up 28 trees ready for families, businesses & individuals to decorate in their own inimitable style by Friday in time for the Preview Supper. The momentum is building for a fantastic Christmas in Askrigg, what with all the trees and the gorgeous Advent windows around the village - it is soooo exciting! There are so many people involved and having fun. Let's hope it continues for the rest of the week.
I am really pleased with myself diet-wise. I had porridge made with water with skimmed milk, honey and seeds for breakfast; sardines on toast (1 slice) and a tangerine for lunch; small bowl of pasta with homemade tomato sauce made with mushrooms & chorizo sausage (not much) and a low fat yoghurt. Good day all round. I even popped out for a quick walk with Lucy in the dark at 9pm - determined!
E xx
I have had a lovely, hard working day today, predominantly in church getting set up for the Christmas Tree Festival. We have set up 28 trees ready for families, businesses & individuals to decorate in their own inimitable style by Friday in time for the Preview Supper. The momentum is building for a fantastic Christmas in Askrigg, what with all the trees and the gorgeous Advent windows around the village - it is soooo exciting! There are so many people involved and having fun. Let's hope it continues for the rest of the week.
I am really pleased with myself diet-wise. I had porridge made with water with skimmed milk, honey and seeds for breakfast; sardines on toast (1 slice) and a tangerine for lunch; small bowl of pasta with homemade tomato sauce made with mushrooms & chorizo sausage (not much) and a low fat yoghurt. Good day all round. I even popped out for a quick walk with Lucy in the dark at 9pm - determined!
E xx
Sunday 13 December 2009
Time flies!
I can't believe it's last Wednesday since I last wrote a post.
I had an email a couple of days ago from a lovely "supporter" who happens to live in France - to make you even more jealous, in a fabulous house in a beautiful valley in France - urging me not to give up. Of course, my reaction was to reassure myself that I hadn't given up, I was just too busy/pre-occupied, etc, to write. However, the truth is more worrying. I am "off the boil" and I have been avoiding the scales. I suspect when I get back on them I will be pirouetting on one foot in an attempt to make the awful reality more palatable. It occurred to me today that, if I go on in this vein, I will be back up in the upper 14's by the new year and feeling sick as a parrot, disappointed/livid with myself and generally down in the dumps. Get a grip woman.
The reality is that my situation has drastically improved and I am in an excitable, positive mood. I have a new job! I am not going to go into too much detail yet (I'm still at that "pinch me" stage, where I think it could all be a bit of a fantasy) but suffice to say that the pinny will be no more and I am going to have to dress smartly for a change! I am going to be in an office with other people, feeling like a proper grown up.
The only down side of this new situation is that I am going to have to buy new clothes. My wardrobe allows me to look tidy at a funeral, uninspiring at a wedding and tidy but grease marked in front of an oven. I have nothing suitable. The down side is that a) I am not the 12 stone babe that I had planned to be by now and b) I am truly down to my last few pounds (£) with the turkey and Dad's Christmas present still to buy. I am going to hope for vouchers/beg from Bruce or sell my body. I have already planned my next book - it is going to be "A year of inspired, healthy lunches for those on the move" - I may have to shorten it! Already spotted the danger zones of office work - a) sat on backside a lot more than usual (no Lucy walks) b) there's a deli next door c) there's a Gregg's the Bakers opposite d) a One-stop sweetie shop across the road. Planning will be my saviour - as well as working with some very attractive women. I am soooooooo excited. More another day.
Yesterday, I made a meal for someone who is unwell and took it round on a tray. As I walked into the kitchen, her little darling doggie attached itself to my leg by it's teeth. It was told not to sniff my trousers - sniff! I held onto the tray for dear life as I attempted to guide the dog with my foot into the sitting room. So I have a small nip on my leg. This morning I decided to be a good partner and help with the feeding up - this involved a 7am start (on a Sunday) but to be honest, once I'm up, I love it, especially in winter when all the beasts are in the barn. As we went to leave, I was asked to take the landrover - big step up. Before I knew where I was, my foot had slipped on the door step and I flew up and landed flat on my back lying next to the vehicle. I have a very bruised backside (thank god I'm padded) and head (can't brush my head without wincing). Sympathy? Guess. No? You'd be right. I get up off the road, clutching rear and head. He asks what's up. I tell him. He laughs and says he thought he felt an earth tremor. Cheeky blighter. I'm now being cautious wondering what's the third event to be!
So, all well, all positive - including the probable and deserved gain in weight tomorrow morning. Get back on the horse, podge, or you'll regret it.
E xx
I had an email a couple of days ago from a lovely "supporter" who happens to live in France - to make you even more jealous, in a fabulous house in a beautiful valley in France - urging me not to give up. Of course, my reaction was to reassure myself that I hadn't given up, I was just too busy/pre-occupied, etc, to write. However, the truth is more worrying. I am "off the boil" and I have been avoiding the scales. I suspect when I get back on them I will be pirouetting on one foot in an attempt to make the awful reality more palatable. It occurred to me today that, if I go on in this vein, I will be back up in the upper 14's by the new year and feeling sick as a parrot, disappointed/livid with myself and generally down in the dumps. Get a grip woman.
The reality is that my situation has drastically improved and I am in an excitable, positive mood. I have a new job! I am not going to go into too much detail yet (I'm still at that "pinch me" stage, where I think it could all be a bit of a fantasy) but suffice to say that the pinny will be no more and I am going to have to dress smartly for a change! I am going to be in an office with other people, feeling like a proper grown up.
The only down side of this new situation is that I am going to have to buy new clothes. My wardrobe allows me to look tidy at a funeral, uninspiring at a wedding and tidy but grease marked in front of an oven. I have nothing suitable. The down side is that a) I am not the 12 stone babe that I had planned to be by now and b) I am truly down to my last few pounds (£) with the turkey and Dad's Christmas present still to buy. I am going to hope for vouchers/beg from Bruce or sell my body. I have already planned my next book - it is going to be "A year of inspired, healthy lunches for those on the move" - I may have to shorten it! Already spotted the danger zones of office work - a) sat on backside a lot more than usual (no Lucy walks) b) there's a deli next door c) there's a Gregg's the Bakers opposite d) a One-stop sweetie shop across the road. Planning will be my saviour - as well as working with some very attractive women. I am soooooooo excited. More another day.
Yesterday, I made a meal for someone who is unwell and took it round on a tray. As I walked into the kitchen, her little darling doggie attached itself to my leg by it's teeth. It was told not to sniff my trousers - sniff! I held onto the tray for dear life as I attempted to guide the dog with my foot into the sitting room. So I have a small nip on my leg. This morning I decided to be a good partner and help with the feeding up - this involved a 7am start (on a Sunday) but to be honest, once I'm up, I love it, especially in winter when all the beasts are in the barn. As we went to leave, I was asked to take the landrover - big step up. Before I knew where I was, my foot had slipped on the door step and I flew up and landed flat on my back lying next to the vehicle. I have a very bruised backside (thank god I'm padded) and head (can't brush my head without wincing). Sympathy? Guess. No? You'd be right. I get up off the road, clutching rear and head. He asks what's up. I tell him. He laughs and says he thought he felt an earth tremor. Cheeky blighter. I'm now being cautious wondering what's the third event to be!
So, all well, all positive - including the probable and deserved gain in weight tomorrow morning. Get back on the horse, podge, or you'll regret it.
E xx
Wednesday 9 December 2009
It's a good job I'm too old for babies!
I've had a lovely day today. Treated myself to a bath this morning after the girls had left for school. Then cleared out some kitchen cupboards as my "housework for the day".
It was a beautiful day so I set out up the Gill with an excitable Lucy. I wish I had had my camera as every time I go up there on a sunny morning I am struck (not literally!) by a delicate silver birch tree, standing like a gilded flagpole awaiting it's flag in the midst of the mighty oaks and beech trees. It really is a sight to behold and so shiny it looks as though it has been polished. I love that wood. I will remember the camera. I am certainly getting fitter - I am still puffing and rosy by the time I get to the top but less so than before - and I'm getting faster.
I wrote some Christmas cards (well 2 actually but they did have letters) and then went to see my friend with her new baby. He's soooooo cute. He just lay in my lap, fast asleep, while I chatted to his beautiful Mum. His skin is peachy and he has a lovely little round head and chubby cheeks. I want one. No, kidding really - we've no room and I'm too old. (but far too young to be a granny in case you're reading this lovely 18 year old daughter)
Last night after writing my missive, I went on to the website about the "Too Big to Walk" programme I had been talking about. It has some useful information, one of which is a BMI calculator. Mine is a shocking 31 (but it was 35.5 so that's good) so I am, as I already know, very overweight. I don't go into simply overweight until I'm 13st 8lb and remain there until I'm 11stone 5lb - that's almost 3 more stone to take me to the very maximum of normal! Crikey. However, it's back to my old twitter about having a responsibility to live more healthily. Stop whining and get on with it.
A friend wrote today saying that, just because the weather is lousy outside doesn't mean you can't do any exercise. She has a point particularly as I am definitely inclined to think that, if I can't walk, I can't do exercise that day. Dancing is great but you feel a prat even if you are on your own. Running up and down the stairs is another - but I'm done in after 2 runs! The tennis club is supposed to be starting indoor tennis for the winter but it hasn't materialised yet. Any suggestions for good indoor exercises? To be honest, even if it's raining, you still feel better for getting outside - you can always change your trousers! Good forecast for the next couple of days so no excuses - the cold is coming, as is Christmas - goody, goody! I'm getting in the mood. Kirsty's Homemade Christmas has made me want to get out the ribbons, sewing box and scraps and make something wonderful (I don't have the ability!) but, as I have my advent window to make yet, I think that should be my priority - the village is shaping up beautifully so I'd better not let the side down.
Still happy!
E xx
It was a beautiful day so I set out up the Gill with an excitable Lucy. I wish I had had my camera as every time I go up there on a sunny morning I am struck (not literally!) by a delicate silver birch tree, standing like a gilded flagpole awaiting it's flag in the midst of the mighty oaks and beech trees. It really is a sight to behold and so shiny it looks as though it has been polished. I love that wood. I will remember the camera. I am certainly getting fitter - I am still puffing and rosy by the time I get to the top but less so than before - and I'm getting faster.
I wrote some Christmas cards (well 2 actually but they did have letters) and then went to see my friend with her new baby. He's soooooo cute. He just lay in my lap, fast asleep, while I chatted to his beautiful Mum. His skin is peachy and he has a lovely little round head and chubby cheeks. I want one. No, kidding really - we've no room and I'm too old. (but far too young to be a granny in case you're reading this lovely 18 year old daughter)
Last night after writing my missive, I went on to the website about the "Too Big to Walk" programme I had been talking about. It has some useful information, one of which is a BMI calculator. Mine is a shocking 31 (but it was 35.5 so that's good) so I am, as I already know, very overweight. I don't go into simply overweight until I'm 13st 8lb and remain there until I'm 11stone 5lb - that's almost 3 more stone to take me to the very maximum of normal! Crikey. However, it's back to my old twitter about having a responsibility to live more healthily. Stop whining and get on with it.
A friend wrote today saying that, just because the weather is lousy outside doesn't mean you can't do any exercise. She has a point particularly as I am definitely inclined to think that, if I can't walk, I can't do exercise that day. Dancing is great but you feel a prat even if you are on your own. Running up and down the stairs is another - but I'm done in after 2 runs! The tennis club is supposed to be starting indoor tennis for the winter but it hasn't materialised yet. Any suggestions for good indoor exercises? To be honest, even if it's raining, you still feel better for getting outside - you can always change your trousers! Good forecast for the next couple of days so no excuses - the cold is coming, as is Christmas - goody, goody! I'm getting in the mood. Kirsty's Homemade Christmas has made me want to get out the ribbons, sewing box and scraps and make something wonderful (I don't have the ability!) but, as I have my advent window to make yet, I think that should be my priority - the village is shaping up beautifully so I'd better not let the side down.
Still happy!
E xx
Tuesday 8 December 2009
Feeling guilty
14st 1lb. Getting there slowly. I haven't been avoiding you as I have been relatively good but life has been busy, busy, busy!!! Actually, for once in my life, it's been social and fun - I don't remember the last time I went out three nights running.
On Saturday, I had some friends in for an informal supper and thoroughly enjoyed it. The mini baked alaskas were delicious and, yes, of course I had one! I drank a little too much fizz and red wine and went to bed a happy girl. On Sunday I went to a Leukemia Research fundraiser lunch which was a great event and raised lots of money for a hugely worthwhile cause. On Sunday night we went to meet a friend who does get to the glorious North very often and had a good catch up - I was only on slimline tonic by this time though! Last night I went joined a new singing group that's just started in the village and loved it. As I have said before, I love to sing and singing informally in a big group is so uplifting - I came away singing to myself and went for a drink with a friend - non alcoholic.
In between all this social life, I have had a busy couple of days at work. I am still feeling positive and happy, which is great.
So, why am I feeling guilty? I'm sitting here typing at the same time as watching "Too Big to walk" - a documentary about a group of seriously obese people who are to walk from the south coast to Edinburgh over 8 weeks. They are obviously really big and the walking must be grossly uncomfortable for them most of the time, certainly at the start. At the start of tonight's programme they don't seem to be that motivated and start eating butties, chips, kebabs, etc and not really seeming to take it seriously. I find myself tutting and getting cross with them for their lack of self respect and control. Then I felt like a right hypocrite as I break my intentions virtually every day, in spite of a deep desire to lose weight and take control of my life. It's no different with them except that they are bigger. In the middle, they meet with the fitness chap and get a serious bollocking - then they seem to kick into gear and make some impressive losses (up to 16 lb) in the next week, walking 12 miles every day and eating healthily. I am feeling a little guilty and a lot humbled.
Tomorrow, the pace of life calms down a bit and I am going to make the most of it - a good walk with Lucy, some writing, some ironing and writing Christmas cards. I am also going to see a friend with her new baby - I love new babies and can't wait!
E xx
On Saturday, I had some friends in for an informal supper and thoroughly enjoyed it. The mini baked alaskas were delicious and, yes, of course I had one! I drank a little too much fizz and red wine and went to bed a happy girl. On Sunday I went to a Leukemia Research fundraiser lunch which was a great event and raised lots of money for a hugely worthwhile cause. On Sunday night we went to meet a friend who does get to the glorious North very often and had a good catch up - I was only on slimline tonic by this time though! Last night I went joined a new singing group that's just started in the village and loved it. As I have said before, I love to sing and singing informally in a big group is so uplifting - I came away singing to myself and went for a drink with a friend - non alcoholic.
In between all this social life, I have had a busy couple of days at work. I am still feeling positive and happy, which is great.
So, why am I feeling guilty? I'm sitting here typing at the same time as watching "Too Big to walk" - a documentary about a group of seriously obese people who are to walk from the south coast to Edinburgh over 8 weeks. They are obviously really big and the walking must be grossly uncomfortable for them most of the time, certainly at the start. At the start of tonight's programme they don't seem to be that motivated and start eating butties, chips, kebabs, etc and not really seeming to take it seriously. I find myself tutting and getting cross with them for their lack of self respect and control. Then I felt like a right hypocrite as I break my intentions virtually every day, in spite of a deep desire to lose weight and take control of my life. It's no different with them except that they are bigger. In the middle, they meet with the fitness chap and get a serious bollocking - then they seem to kick into gear and make some impressive losses (up to 16 lb) in the next week, walking 12 miles every day and eating healthily. I am feeling a little guilty and a lot humbled.
Tomorrow, the pace of life calms down a bit and I am going to make the most of it - a good walk with Lucy, some writing, some ironing and writing Christmas cards. I am also going to see a friend with her new baby - I love new babies and can't wait!
E xx
Friday 4 December 2009
A strange thing happened today....
.....I forgot to eat breakfast!!!! At around 11am, I thought I felt a bit hungry and realised that I had got the girls off to school, got his nibs off shooting with packed lunch, then showered and went shopping for some cooking that I had to do today and missed breakfast! I think this is a first. In fact, I'm sure. I decided that, as it was 11am already, I might as well save my meagre calories for lunch (it's famine day). I was busy and didn't have time to sit down and relax so just made a slice of toast with peanut butter & jam again (it's good for you!) and then a bowl of blackberry and apple for pud.
It was a glorious day for the first time in a long time and I had a really good walk. Half way round, there was a big group of mid-teens whom I suspect are staying at the outdoor centre. They all set off up the hill singing at the top of their voices, "If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands" - not in a cheesey, scouting kind of way (not that I'm anti-scout) but more of a rugby club after-match party, with girls! Anyway, it made me smile and think of my girls - full of youthful optimism and hope. Happy and fun they were but I was glad to see them going off up the hill in the opposite direction (on the short cut!), leaving me to continue on my contemplative way (I'm a bit into this quiet stuff after the Taize).
Tonight the girls have all gone out, leaving his nibs and I alone (which is rare). He is in the sitting room and I am pretending to iron in the kitchen - I actually want to watch the"I'm a Celebrity" final - guilty secret! Yesterday, he read from an article in the paper stating that research says that once you are a bride, you put on weight. I retorted with, "does it say that once you are a groom, you stop washing and generally lack an acceptable degree of personal hygiene?" He has difficulty grasping that deodorant is not just for special occasions or that showers are not only allowed if nookie is in the offing! Anyway, having sniped through the rest of the day, we agreed that it had to stop - we are now being nice to each other (I suspect a shower could be on the cards!).
Tomorrow there's loads to do (as ever) and then I have some girlfriends coming for dinner which I am really looking forward to. The two youngest have some of their friends coming too so it's a house full of females. It's my feast day anyway but I am going to try to control it - I'm planning baby almond baked Alaska puddings which will just have to be eaten!
Weigh day tomorrow. I'm optimistic.
E xx
It was a glorious day for the first time in a long time and I had a really good walk. Half way round, there was a big group of mid-teens whom I suspect are staying at the outdoor centre. They all set off up the hill singing at the top of their voices, "If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands" - not in a cheesey, scouting kind of way (not that I'm anti-scout) but more of a rugby club after-match party, with girls! Anyway, it made me smile and think of my girls - full of youthful optimism and hope. Happy and fun they were but I was glad to see them going off up the hill in the opposite direction (on the short cut!), leaving me to continue on my contemplative way (I'm a bit into this quiet stuff after the Taize).
Tonight the girls have all gone out, leaving his nibs and I alone (which is rare). He is in the sitting room and I am pretending to iron in the kitchen - I actually want to watch the"I'm a Celebrity" final - guilty secret! Yesterday, he read from an article in the paper stating that research says that once you are a bride, you put on weight. I retorted with, "does it say that once you are a groom, you stop washing and generally lack an acceptable degree of personal hygiene?" He has difficulty grasping that deodorant is not just for special occasions or that showers are not only allowed if nookie is in the offing! Anyway, having sniped through the rest of the day, we agreed that it had to stop - we are now being nice to each other (I suspect a shower could be on the cards!).
Tomorrow there's loads to do (as ever) and then I have some girlfriends coming for dinner which I am really looking forward to. The two youngest have some of their friends coming too so it's a house full of females. It's my feast day anyway but I am going to try to control it - I'm planning baby almond baked Alaska puddings which will just have to be eaten!
Weigh day tomorrow. I'm optimistic.
E xx
Thursday 3 December 2009
Any excuse!
The diet has been fine - healthy porridge (water, honey, seeds); seedy toast with organic peanut butter and homemade damson jam (may seem strange to you but, each to his own!) and then a pork chop (fat removed) with veg and some delicious stewed apple & blackberries. No problems with food. Famine day tomorrow. Feeling slimmer so positive for Saturday weigh in (recommended a week between weigh ins but too long for me).
However, the exercise is struggling. It has rained and even sleeted today, virtually all day. Cold wind. Unappealing. Wimped out. I did do the lunch duty at our primary school but the weather meant it was indoor play - I haven't been in so far this year so there were some new little faces, all smiley and cute. It was stimulating but not energy expending. I also put in an online Tescos order which uses energy in that it is exasperating but not healthily!
I am in a positive mood and have been, cautiously, all week. This is good. Long may it continue.
E xx
However, the exercise is struggling. It has rained and even sleeted today, virtually all day. Cold wind. Unappealing. Wimped out. I did do the lunch duty at our primary school but the weather meant it was indoor play - I haven't been in so far this year so there were some new little faces, all smiley and cute. It was stimulating but not energy expending. I also put in an online Tescos order which uses energy in that it is exasperating but not healthily!
I am in a positive mood and have been, cautiously, all week. This is good. Long may it continue.
E xx
Wednesday 2 December 2009
Lucy is not pleased!
No weight but it's a famine day...and it has been! I had a slice of toast with honey (no butter) for breakfast, some devilled kidneys without any sauce for lunch (no, it wasn't very appetising!) and an apple and orange for supper (and a glass of mulled wine at a Christmas fair!). Feeling oddly fine and not deprived - going to enjoy a normal day of eating sensibly tomorrow.
I have had a busy day sorting out the Advent windows and the Christmas Tree Festival as well as getting some work done. I have written a 3 day plan of action to work through. I am really excited at how well the festive events are developing - it seems that the whole village and outlying farms are pulling together.
Unfortunately, I have been so busy that Lucy and walking took a back seat. We only managed a quick nip up to the start of the Gill walk before it got dark. Her little face when I turned to come back instead of going through the stile, was a picture. Tomorrow will be different.
I had a new experience tonight. I was invited to go with a friend to a Taize service in Hawes. I was a little dubious about the meditation/quiet aspect as I am a bit of a one for enjoying a belting good hymn although candlelight always appeals. Well, it was beautiful. Quiet, relaxing, gentle, comfortable. Lovely. I would recommend it to everyone - a total digression from a busy life.
Calm, happy, with a flatter stomach.....good, good.
E xx
I have had a busy day sorting out the Advent windows and the Christmas Tree Festival as well as getting some work done. I have written a 3 day plan of action to work through. I am really excited at how well the festive events are developing - it seems that the whole village and outlying farms are pulling together.
Unfortunately, I have been so busy that Lucy and walking took a back seat. We only managed a quick nip up to the start of the Gill walk before it got dark. Her little face when I turned to come back instead of going through the stile, was a picture. Tomorrow will be different.
I had a new experience tonight. I was invited to go with a friend to a Taize service in Hawes. I was a little dubious about the meditation/quiet aspect as I am a bit of a one for enjoying a belting good hymn although candlelight always appeals. Well, it was beautiful. Quiet, relaxing, gentle, comfortable. Lovely. I would recommend it to everyone - a total digression from a busy life.
Calm, happy, with a flatter stomach.....good, good.
E xx
Tuesday 1 December 2009
Feast or famine?
14st 2lb. So I didn't quite make the 14stone but at least I'm heading in the right direction and have lost a pound in Cornwall in spite of succumbing to a melt in the mouth, worth the calories as a treat, proper pasty. Not as good as dear old Gran used to make, but more than adequately comparable.
You would have been so proud of me on the journey down. My planning worked a treat - buying two of all the treats for the girls and packing fruit and my sarnies. No naughties despite a long drag of a journey. Friday did not dawn with glorious blue skies but I still managed to drag my two unwilling charges out for a good walk in the afternoon with only occasional drizzle and not the downpour it threatened. I ate the aforementioned pasty for lunch and my mother had made the most unctuous lamb shanks with butternut squash and other veggies for supper. On Saturday, Mum took the girls out for the day (with fish and chips) while I took care of Gran - we had a boiled egg each for lunch. She insisted that she would be fine while I took the dog out for an hour, which of course she was, but I did push the boundaries of my abilities so that I was back within the hour. Again Mum cooked - a roast chicken with loads of vegetables so good again - but the lovely blackberry & apple crumble with clotted cream didn't fit the diet bill!
Saturday night - what a night! I barely slept as we were up in Mum's static caravan and it was a particularly stormy night. I was battling the elements at 3am thinking her garden shed had broken loose. It was fine but the tarpaulin on next door's speed boat was thwacking up and down in the gusts and the boat itself was lifting up and thumping back down. You know what it's like in the middle of the night - everything is so much more dramatic - I put my contact lenses in, just in case I needed to make an emergency escape if the boat lifted up and through the side of the caravan. By 4am, there were three in the bed, like two sardines and a mackerel in the middle, grossly uncomfortable and in fear of our lives. Mum, cosily wrapped up in Granny's cottage in the sheltered arm of the village, greeted three bleary eyed girls with a bright and breezy "Sleep well?"
Sunday was calm in Cornwall. Wet but calm. Wensleydale on the other hand was anything but. It rained and rained. By lunch time it was decided that we would not be able to get back in to our village so we decided to stop in Cheshire at my very accommodating, lovely aunt & uncle's house. Whilst driving up the M5, the youngest rang home to tell our plans, to be greeted with a, "Can't talk now. Moving everything upstairs. The fire brigade have just arrived." Great. The youngest is only worried about the cat. I am worried about...everything! Five hours later, the fire brigade stopped pumping. The two neighbours on the right were soaked right through and I don't envy them (I made a Shepherd's Pie) but we escaped. His nibs levered up the paving slabs and the herb garden in an effort to drain water away, but other than that, we're fine. I am very grateful.
I think the stress and lack of sleep made me lose the pound. I am now feast and famining. So far. So good. Yesterday, a slice of toast at Jen's, a slice of bread as a tomato sandwich at lunch and a tin of plum tomatoes for supper. You must excuse the horror of the diet but I had just suffered trauma and a long drive. Today was feast - Weetabix for breakfast, a small roast turkey dinner at work (and a not awfully small Christmas pudding - homemade - with rum sauce) and a slice of toast with honey and an orange for supper. Not too bad. Good walk due tomorrow for famine day with a nice soup for lunch - haven't decided what yet. I need healthy supplies.
Feeling optimistic.
Anyone feel like joining me? Three and a half weeks to Christmas!
Love
E xx
You would have been so proud of me on the journey down. My planning worked a treat - buying two of all the treats for the girls and packing fruit and my sarnies. No naughties despite a long drag of a journey. Friday did not dawn with glorious blue skies but I still managed to drag my two unwilling charges out for a good walk in the afternoon with only occasional drizzle and not the downpour it threatened. I ate the aforementioned pasty for lunch and my mother had made the most unctuous lamb shanks with butternut squash and other veggies for supper. On Saturday, Mum took the girls out for the day (with fish and chips) while I took care of Gran - we had a boiled egg each for lunch. She insisted that she would be fine while I took the dog out for an hour, which of course she was, but I did push the boundaries of my abilities so that I was back within the hour. Again Mum cooked - a roast chicken with loads of vegetables so good again - but the lovely blackberry & apple crumble with clotted cream didn't fit the diet bill!
Saturday night - what a night! I barely slept as we were up in Mum's static caravan and it was a particularly stormy night. I was battling the elements at 3am thinking her garden shed had broken loose. It was fine but the tarpaulin on next door's speed boat was thwacking up and down in the gusts and the boat itself was lifting up and thumping back down. You know what it's like in the middle of the night - everything is so much more dramatic - I put my contact lenses in, just in case I needed to make an emergency escape if the boat lifted up and through the side of the caravan. By 4am, there were three in the bed, like two sardines and a mackerel in the middle, grossly uncomfortable and in fear of our lives. Mum, cosily wrapped up in Granny's cottage in the sheltered arm of the village, greeted three bleary eyed girls with a bright and breezy "Sleep well?"
Sunday was calm in Cornwall. Wet but calm. Wensleydale on the other hand was anything but. It rained and rained. By lunch time it was decided that we would not be able to get back in to our village so we decided to stop in Cheshire at my very accommodating, lovely aunt & uncle's house. Whilst driving up the M5, the youngest rang home to tell our plans, to be greeted with a, "Can't talk now. Moving everything upstairs. The fire brigade have just arrived." Great. The youngest is only worried about the cat. I am worried about...everything! Five hours later, the fire brigade stopped pumping. The two neighbours on the right were soaked right through and I don't envy them (I made a Shepherd's Pie) but we escaped. His nibs levered up the paving slabs and the herb garden in an effort to drain water away, but other than that, we're fine. I am very grateful.
I think the stress and lack of sleep made me lose the pound. I am now feast and famining. So far. So good. Yesterday, a slice of toast at Jen's, a slice of bread as a tomato sandwich at lunch and a tin of plum tomatoes for supper. You must excuse the horror of the diet but I had just suffered trauma and a long drive. Today was feast - Weetabix for breakfast, a small roast turkey dinner at work (and a not awfully small Christmas pudding - homemade - with rum sauce) and a slice of toast with honey and an orange for supper. Not too bad. Good walk due tomorrow for famine day with a nice soup for lunch - haven't decided what yet. I need healthy supplies.
Feeling optimistic.
Anyone feel like joining me? Three and a half weeks to Christmas!
Love
E xx
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