A good week

No weight. Can't face it yet and did say I wouldn't be able to until mid month. Mmm. One week to go then. We are surrounded by diet advice - every paper, magazine and media type is full of it. Metabolic, Fad, Low Carb, Low fat....and the list goes on. They all promise to be easy, keep it off, never hungry, etc. I put "weight loss" into google and got 120MILLION possible connections - "diet advice" gives 52.8 What is the world coming to? We are obsessed and you can see why these diet clubs/websites/foods etc are worth a fortune. We are desperate to get thinner/fitter/healthier yet seem incapable of doing it. As I have banged on about before, no number of diet books and fitness DVD's are going to help unless you are "in the zone" and ready to bite the bullet (rather than another biscuit/chocolate/lump of cheese).

I am not in the zone. I am praying that the situation is resolved when I start work full time in an office environment, where I am expected to look presentable and smart. I am more used to wearing an apron (with three sheep donning swimming caps with the caption, "Dip looks cold today girls!" on the pocket) over a black skirt and long sleeved t-shirt, smelling of chip fat and bacon - is there any hope? I took homemade soup to work on both of my working days and ate sensibly for breakfast and supper. Unfortunately there was a dark chocolate orange left (which his nibs and I polished off at one sitting) and is still the remnants of a bottle of Baileys on the dresser, tempting me to have a little nip every night - thankfully it is nearly gone. Today though, I went to check on an elderly neighbour who must be going stir-crazy by now as he hasn't been out of the house for weeks due to the snow - and he gave me a box of gorgeous looking Lindt chocolates, with the specific instruction that I have to enjoy them without an ounce of guilt or subsequent remorse. Who am I to ignore such instruction?

My problem is that, since the beginning of December, my life has taken a positive turn. I had a fantastic, happy Christmas. I love the snow and the spectacular scenery that lifts and energises at every glance (yes Bruce, I know its really hard for farmers and that you are f***ing sick of it!). I have a new job and am pretty certain I will have found my niche. I have discovered this love of scribbling my inane thoughts down on a blog and find it immensely satisfying. My girls are all healthy and happy. My relationship is great. All in all, I feel incredibly blessed, not a little smug, and an enormous amount of happiness. The upshot of this PMA (positive mental attitude) is that I am no longer pre-occupied with my weight. I no longer feel huge, unattractive and a blight on the face of the earth.

Now, don't get me wrong. I am not running around happy with the curves, lumps and bumps. I know that I am no where near as fit as I should be. I am certainly not "giving up" and resigning myself to being this size. The new outfit I bought last week fits but will look so much better in half a stone's time. Last night, a (admittedly young) girl came into the pub (why was I there? more to follow) whom I hadn't seen for some time - she looked fantastic! She has lost a nice bit of weight and was positively glowing - shiny hair, good skin, toned figure and oooooozing the confidence that every twenty-something should. I want to feel like that again. I might have lost almost 2 stone since this time last year but no one notices you go from very big to a little bit less very big. I might feel better but it's not an immediately noticeable improvement.

On Monday, I am starting with a vengeance.......again!!!!!!!!

Anyway, on a lighter note, I titled this post "A good week" and it has been.
1. Girls all good, happy, healthy and sledging for the third week in a row.
2. I started my new job and am very optimistic about it.
3. Most important.....I got to the semi-finals in the domino knock-out in the pub last night! Absolutely incredible. Anyone that knows me is aware that I am not a regular in the pubs (although I have been known to dance on the tables and be more than a little raucous) and couldn't hit a dart board however hard I tried. However, last night as the drinks were downed and the natural urge to win kicked in, I found the tension rising as I carefully considered which domino to put down. At one stage you would think I was playing poker for all the careful pondering to up skittle my opponents whilst knowing full well I only had one possible domino. I even learnt not to put them in a little semi-circle, that you don't play with 7, you don't have to play the double six first and you play much better with a little help from the liquor! By golly, it was fun - helped along by getting through the rounds of course.

Anyway, time to start the supper (baked potato, pork chop - fat removed, spinach) and then have a bath. Relaxing evening ahead. Now, can I justify that good bottle of red we never got round to at Christmas...................

E xx