Right, that's it!

15st 0lb. In the words of Victor Meldrew, "I don't believe it!"

I hobbled down the stairs this morning (wincing from the pain of my aching muscles) singing, "you are about to be very happy" and then STOOD ON THE SCALES!!!! 2lb ON. WHAT THE HELL???? I nudged the scales round the room 4 times and once managed to get it to 14st 12lb but I was nearly falling over through leaning back and decided it didn't count. I was going to have to admit it to you all and accept my fury. I am now back where I was on the 1st of September - 2 weeks ago. It is incomprehensible. I even said a prayer before I got on the scales - in fact, I am beginning to wonder if it is Him getting his own back and letting me know that He is not in fact running a weight loss club, He is there for much greater, more important matters. Let us not be in any doubt, God, THIS MATTERS!!!!!

I shall recount the last two days to you and see if you think any of this is right. On Monday morning the alarm went off at 4.30am and I was at work by 5am, having not had any breakfast (I am always on my nerves at the start of these days as so much depends upon them going well and it is ultimately my responsibility to ensure that they do). I made 10 dozen scones, lit the fire, put out some tables and chairs and got started on breakfast prepping. By 7am, I could grab a cup of tea and by 7.30am breakfast was in full swing. During the course of the day, I grabbed glasses of water to keep me hydrated and didn't look up from the counter for the next 7 hours. At 3pm I took a quick break to go to the bank, taking a beef & horseradish roll with me. When I finally got home at 11pm having been on my feet and cooking all day, I ate two Weetabixes with hot skimmed milk and a sprinkle of sugar. I went to bed and slept like a baby (albeit, a baby with very sore feet and aching legs) until 4.30am on Tuesday, when the day repeated itself although I had an egg & cress roll instead of beef. Exciting. Now, during the course of the day, I will have eaten little morsels of food which, if stuck together may add up to one piece of cake or scone but absolutely no more. I even took a fork of cheesecake at one point and threw it in the bin as the little angel on my shoulder screeched that it was a waste of calories.

So, 2 days, four Weetabixes, two filled rolls and a slice of cheesecake equivalent. AND A 2LB GAIN IN WEIGHT. Where is the justice in that? Now before you go saying, "she's not eating enought to burn fat, her body is in starvation mode", that is rubbish. There is nothing starving or anything else about this body. The deprived people in the aid camps of Africa are starving. My partner, bless him, suggested that the scales are wrong. I pointed out that if he or one of the children stepped on them, it wouldn't say they were 15 stone. They are not the best scales in the world but they are in the region of the right weight. Also, don't go saying that I must have sub consciously pinched alot more than one piece of cheesecake - no I did not! Not one single chips out of over 100 large bags, passed my lips I can assure you.

The only good thing is that I feel slimmer. I look better (although knackered today) and my skin is a better tone. My jeans can now be removed without undoing them (not a party trick for the general public) and generally my clothes are more comfortable.

I am fully expecting that any day now, the scales are going to suddenly show a great big loss and, if they could speak, they would say, "I am so sorry, Podge, I've been forgetting to deduct your weight for weeks now, you are actually only 14st 3lbs. I hope I haven't put you off your stroke!" What do you think are the chances?

Anyway, my first inclination this morning was "Right, that really is it, I've had enough". That's it. What is? What am I going to do? Start eating too much of a good (and bad) thing again and put back the little progress I have made?

No, I decided to have a Weetabix and a cup of tea, go back to bed, put the electric blanket on and sort out some work stuff on the computer.

Tomorrow will come. It will come off when it's ready.

E xx