I'm back!

14st 7lb. I've survived another season of lamb/tup sales and amazingly, I am feeling relatively normal and not nearly as washed out as I was this time last year. The last couple of days were hard work with very long hours but, all in all, satisfying and at least this time I didn't gain weight even though I eat very little whilst there. On Wednesday, in the 19 hours that I was awake and working, I ate 4 Quality Street sweets off the reception desk in the office and 2 Weetabix with hot milk when I got home. I was not good yesterday - in terms of calories for the day it was not OTT, but I ate all the wrong things - a piece of coffee cake; 6 Quality Streets; 15 chips from the fryer; a ham sandwich (and that was only because I was conscious that I was starting to pick).

Anyway, I have realised something positive. I may not be moving down the scales but, I no longer feel enormous. I have graduated to being a "big lass" and feel I am within acceptable limits. This in no way alters the fact that I know I have a long way to go to be medically within acceptable limits, but I feel that my hugeness is not necessarily the first thing people will notice about me. This is a really positive step in the right direction. It started in Cornwall when I was fairly relaxed and able to get out and walk in such beautiful surroundings every day. I know it is a scientifically proven fact that your "feel good" hormones are raised when you exercise but I never really believed it. However, when I had no other distractions such as work, family life and stemming the tide of chaos at home, I felt great. Maybe it's the taking control or indulging in a past time that you know is doing you good.

I am so looking forward to November. I am going to be positive, nurturing and more confident. I need to take my life in hand and tackle the issues that are holding me back (mainly money and work!). I wish I had my time again to really carefully consider where I wanted to be with a career.

I'm signing off for a while as I need to go to a funeral. I will be back to finish off later.
Exx